Tone of your home
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[00:00:00] Listen, we all know parenting is not always going to feel peaceful. Some days might feel more like emotional whiplash. One minute everyone's laughing. The next minute someone's melting down and everyone's upset. You're just trying to hold it all together and figure out what's for dinner. And in those moments, it's easy to think.
I need a better routine. I need a better plan. I need a better strategy. But one simple realization that has changed so much for me is that your state of mind matters more than your strategy. And I love a good strategy, but you can have the best routines in place, the best parenting books, the best tools and techniques.
But if you're anxious, angry, overwhelmed, or emotionally scattered. Your kids are going to feel it and they're going to reflect it. So today we're gonna talk about how to set the emotional tone in your home, even when life feels chaotic. Hey friends. Welcome back to Raising Faithful Families. [00:01:00] I'm Katie Bordeaux, and I'm so glad you're here.
Today's episode is all about one of the most powerful truths that I've learned as a parent. The tone of your home starts with you, not with your schedule, not with your circumstances, not even with your child's behavior. You we'll talk about why your internal state matters so much. How your emotions impact your child's emotions and simple practices to help you regulate yourself in challenging moments.
We can't be perfect parents, no matter how bad we wish we could be, but we can lead with peace regardless of the mess. Have you ever heard the phrase that your kids will match your mood far before they obey your words? It's very true. Kids are emotional mirrors. They may not always understand what you're feeling, but they do absorb it.
If you're tense, snappy, or rushed, chances are they'll reflect that right back at you with resistance, [00:02:00] whining, or emotional shutdown. And on the other hand, when you are calm, present, and emotionally grounded. You create a sense of safety. You give your kids permission to regulate their emotions as well.
Your calm becomes the anchor in their storm. I've had these moments myself where I was essentially just drowning in every single thing going wrong and on the complete edge of barely hanging on to sanity when my son reacted to something totally unnecessarily and over the top, where your immediate reaction is something like, are you serious?
It's not even a big deal. And then the Holy Spirit checks you because you're essentially doing the exact same thing. That spirit check is the reminder to take a deep breath and regulate before you react. What's interesting is how quickly me pausing and regulating myself can cause what could have turned into a whole frustrating situation with yelling and emotional disconnection and [00:03:00] apologies, the moment passes and our bond is still intact each time.
It's a reminder that the atmosphere of our homes are shaped by small choices in hard moments. Let's go deeper. Emotional regulation isn't just a parenting tool, it's a spiritual discipline. Colossians three, verse 15 says, to let your, let the peace of Christ rule in your heart. Not to wait for peace, not to pretend to feel peaceful, but to let it rule, to actively invite it into your heart.
That means you're not ruled by frustration. You're not ruled by anxiety. You're not ruled by chaos. You are ruled by peace because peace is a fruit of the spirit and a reflection of walking with God. You also don't have to be calm in your own strength. You have the Holy Spirit inside of you, and peace is available to you even in the messiest moments when it doesn't feel like [00:04:00] it.
So here are a few small things that you can do that make a big difference in setting the tone in your home. One, create a pre reaction pause. This is the sacred three to five second space between your child's behavior and your response. We talked about this a little bit last week. In that pause, you can even whisper a short prayer.
Holy Spirit, help me lead with peace. Sometimes that is all it takes to interrupt your emotional autopilot and respond from intention instead. Two, check your internal dashboard before reacting. Ask yourself, am I tired? Am I overstimulated? Am I upset about something else? Do I just need 30 seconds to chill out and breathe?
Parenting well starts with knowing yourself well. If you feel dysregulated, it's okay to step away for a moment. That is not weakness, that's wisdom. That's self-control. Three, speak [00:05:00] peace out loud. Your words have power. Your words carry spiritual authority in your home. So even if things feel chaotic, declare the truth out loud.
This home is a place of peace. We are safe. We are connected. God gives me patience and wisdom. Let your words be a thermostat, not a thermometer. You get to actually choose and set the temperature. And if you're thinking, but Katie, I already lost it five times this week. I get it. And even still, there's always time to repair, to apologize, and to reset.
There's no shame in needing a reset. There's only grace I. Lamentations three verse 22 through 23 says, his mercies are new every morning. That includes for you, you're not a failure because you've struggled. You're a parent who is growing. You're a person who is growing and friend. Your growth is changing your home.
If [00:06:00] emotional regulation has been especially hard for you lately, if you find yourself snapping, yelling, or reacting before thinking, I want to personally invite you to my free five day challenge to stop yelling at your kids. It's short, it's practical, it's grace filled, and it will help you understand your emotional triggers.
Stay calm in the moment and discipline from a place of connection, not chaos. So you can join the challenge at the link in the description of this episode. Let's build a calm, connected home together to create peace in your home. You just have to be present aware and also willing to invite God into the mess.
Because you are the thermostat in your home, and when you lead with calm, grace, peace, you give your family a powerful gift that lasts far beyond the moment that you're facing. Thanks for joining me today on Raising Faithful Families. If this episode encouraged you, I would love to hear from you. [00:07:00] Please subscribe if you're on a podcast platform.
Leave a review. Leave a comment if you're watching on YouTube and share this episode with a friend who could use the encouragement. I'll see you next week.
