Parenting Triggers
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[00:00:00] You love your kids more than anything. So why do you find yourself snapping at them, raising your voice and reacting in ways that just leave you feeling so guilty afterward? The truth is it has nothing to do with how much you love them, how much you desire to do the right thing, because it's not a lack of love.
It's a struggle with a lack of awareness of what's driving those reactions. Today, we're talking about parenting triggers, what they are, where they come from, and how they impact the way that you respond to your kids. If you've ever wondered. Why did I just lose my temper completely over something so small?
This episode is for you. Hey friends, welcome back to Raising Faithful Families. I'm your host, Katie Bordeaux, and today's episode is one that I know will hit home for you. We all have moments in parenting when we react instead of respond. Moments where we look back and we think, I really [00:01:00] wish I had handled that differently.
But the thing is, if we don't take the time to understand our triggers, we'll just keep falling into the same cycles of frustration, guilt, and regret. So today we're diving into what triggers actually are, where they come from, why they cause us to react in ways that we don't want to, and biblical wisdom to help us respond with intention instead of reacting out of frustration.
So let's get started. A trigger is anything that causes an intense emotional reaction, often a reaction that is disproportionate to the situation at hand. So let me give you an example. Your child spills a drink at the table and you know it was an accident, they didn't mean to do it. But instead of calmly helping them clean it up, You feel this sudden rush of anger, frustration, or overwhelm, and you snap.
That's a triggered response. That's not just a [00:02:00] reaction to what actually happened in this moment. But it's a response that's been shaped by past experiences, unmet needs, and even deeper emotional wounds in many cases. Triggers are like emotional landmines. They lie beneath the surface, unnoticed, until something sets them off.
A lot of times we've all done a lot of work to heal, and we think that we've completely overcome something until we get triggered, right? Most of the time, your biggest reactions aren't about your kids at all. They're about what their behavior has now triggered inside of you. So where do our parenting triggers even come from?
One place is childhood experiences and unresolved wounds. Many of our reactions today are shaped by the way that we were parented. If you grew up in a home where Stakes weren't tolerated. Your child's messes might trigger perfectionism and frustration in you if you were [00:03:00] ignored or dismissed as a child.
Your child's whining or crying might trigger feelings of uni importance or annoyance in you. If you were raised in an unpredictable, chaotic environment, your child's energy and noise might trigger a deep need for control. It's not that we want to react negatively, it's just that our nervous system is wired to protect us based on past experiences.
Psalm 147 verse 3 says, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Parenting is often the mirror that reflects back the areas where you may still need healing. Another thing that causes this is unmet needs, whether physical or emotional or both. Because, let's be honest, life and parenting are exhausting sometimes.
And when you're stressed, tired, overstimulated, or emotionally drained, your capacity to stay calm is severely [00:04:00] limited. Lack of sleep is also gonna make everything feel bigger. A messy house can make you feel anxious and out of control. A long day of feeling unappreciated can make even tiny inconveniences like this.
Feel overwhelming. When you don't meet your own needs, you can easily begin to resent the needs of others, and that does include our children. Even Jesus modeled the importance of rest and renewal, so don't underestimate how important it is to take care of yourself. Luke 5, verse 16 says, But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's essential to showing up as the parent that you want to be. They always say you can't pour from an empty cup and, well, you can. But what you pour out isn't gonna be what you want to pour out. It's not what you want to give your family. It's not how you want them to remember being [00:05:00] parented by you when they grow up.
Another thing that causes our parenting triggers is an overloaded mental load. You likely carry an invisible to do list in your head all day long, every day. There's appointments to schedule, there's laundry to fold, there's meals to plan, there's work deadlines to meet, there's people to text back, and then your child spills something, they whine, or they fight with their sibling, and suddenly that one small thing becomes the last thing.
The last thing you can handle today, not because of what just happened, but because your mental load was already at capacity. Matthew 11 verse 28 says, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. God didn't design you to carry everything alone. Sometimes you need to release the pressure that you're putting on yourself.
Before you can change your reactions, you have to first understand what's driving them. So here's your [00:06:00] homework for this week. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, I want you to take a moment. I want you to pause and ask, What just happened? What did I feel? And what's beneath this? What's under the surface?
Is there a deeper reason that I'm feeling this way? Because when you can see your triggers clearly, you can take them to God and you can start healing them. If today's episode resonated with you, I want to invite you to the free five day challenge to stop yelling at your kids over the course of five days in simple, short, five minute videos and daily emails for five days.
I'll guide you through identifying your biggest triggers, practical strategies to stay calm in the moment, biblical encouragement, of course, to break free from reactive parenting. This challenge is completely free and it will have a massive, amazing impact on your ability to respond rather than react. So head to the description or go to [00:07:00] covenantcollections.
com slash Five day, number five day in the description, and you can sign up today. If you've been struggling with reactive parenting, I just want you to know that you're not alone. You're not a bad parent and you are capable of changing these things with awareness, grace, and God's help. We can become the most intentional patient and present version of ourselves that we want to be with our children.
So this week, I encourage you to pay attention to your triggers. Don't judge yourself, but just begin the journey toward responding instead of reacting. Thank you for joining me today on Raising Faithful Families. If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe to our podcast, leave a review, and share with a friend who needs this too.
Until next time, take care and God bless.
