Happy Holidays
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[00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to Raising Faithful Families. Today we have the lovely Katie Trent joining us and she's going to be sharing with us how to have a happier home around the holidays, which is of course a very timely topic with the holidays coming up. So I think this message will be valuable for many of you.
Katie, can you introduce yourself and share a bit about what led you here to talk about this today? Absolutely. Hi, everyone. I'm Katie J. Trent. I am an author and a speaker and a homeschool mama of two amazing kiddos. We have kind of bounced around the world doing ministry for the past about 18 years, my husband and I, and we're currently residing in beautiful Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
I have a background in ministry and counseling and so for About the past two decades, we've really just worked on building strong faith filled families. And I create resources with busy moms in mind, um, because I myself am a busy mom. And so I just love all things, Jesus. And of course the [00:01:00] holidays, this is my favorite time of year.
So I'm so excited to be here talking about this topic. Awesome. Thank you. So of course we've got the joy, the delicious food, the time with family and friends, but a lot of times the holidays bring a lot of pressure and stress onto the shoulders of parents. What would you say are some of the biggest challenges that you see parents dealing with around the holidays?
Well, I think you really hit it. It's that busyness and then the guilt, right? Mom, guilt is a real thing. And I think during the holidays, it's amplified so much more. We put so much pressure on ourselves to create like these perfect memories and these perfect holidays for our kids. And really all we end up doing is stressing ourselves and our families out.
We blow our budget, you know, we're. frazzled and frustrated and trying to do all the things and we end up showing up really as the worst version of ourselves, I feel like, instead of the best version. And I think it's really easy to get lost in like the commercialization of the holidays instead of really [00:02:00] remembering why we're celebrating, focusing on Jesus, and teaching our kids that.
I don't know about you, but Even with my best intentions, you know, family discipleship is my passion. It's something I've been doing with my kids since before they were born. And it's something still where, even as we were doing these different things, as they started to grow, I saw just the pull of the commercialization.
I saw the, I want to make lists and I want. These toys, and I want all this stuff for me, and it became really hard to kind of battle that. How do I really keep them focused on the true meaning for this season? How do I help them understand who Jesus is better at this time, and also look more like Jesus at the end of this time?
And so that really took me on a journey to change the way we did the holiday season, and led me to my book, A Merry and Bright Adventure, for helping families, including our own, to really keep Christ at the center of our Christmas. Okay, that's wonderful. So what types of things do you suggest that we do to help our kids learn that [00:03:00] it's not all about them and how they can look externally as well?
Absolutely. Well, you'll find a lot throughout my book, and we'll talk about that in a little bit, but I want to give you just something practical. I like things that I can remember. And so I talk about the ABC's. Of keeping christ at the center of christmas and that's what I want to share with you today To make it easy to kind of prioritize what you're doing this holiday season.
So your a is appreciate your season Really focusing on gratitude and remembering that where you are today is not where you're going to be next season and I think sometimes we want the season to look the same, but As our kids grow, as we go through different things, it's going to be different. And so just instead of looking at what was or what could be, really focus on being present and grateful for the season you're in because you'll never get it back again.
So even with all the hard things, whatever you're facing today, appreciate that. So that's your A. The B is begin now. As soon as you're listening to this episode, like now is the time to really be intentional and start planning out what you [00:04:00] want your season to look like. So beginning to prepare and be intentional.
You know, one of the things that our family always does at the beginning of the holiday season is we sit down together and we create a holiday bucket list. And so if your kids are super, super little, you might be doing this with your spouse. Um, but as they're old enough to talk and share, you know, they're going to be able to tell you things that they want to do.
And so sitting down together and finding out what activities mean a lot to them and being able to share what activities mean a lot to you and your spouse, that can help you guys to really prioritize what's important for this season. Um, oftentimes I find that when I'm talking to moms, they think that maybe this one activity means a lot to their kids and they're like, really?
No, I could do without that. But I want to do this. And so just having that conversation, we usually create a little poster or dry erase markers or whatever. And. Put that up so that that helps keep us focused and we mark them off as we go throughout the holiday season. And it's just a fun way to kind of remember what you're doing.
So begin now and prepare and be [00:05:00] intentional. Look at your budget. Look at, you know, what you need to do and what time you have in this season and be realistic with setting your boundaries and communicating with each other. And then your Cs are connect meaningfully. I think, especially at the holiday times, but if In a world that social media and digital and people are losing that connection connecting meaningfully is so important.
And those are the things that your kids are going to remember. They're not going to remember every toy that you ever bought them. They're going to remember those fun ways that they connected with you where you were just fully present, even if you only have. 15 minutes to give your kids for an activity and you're fully present, that matters and that's going to create a meaningful moment for them.
And then your D is disciple. This is the perfect time during the holidays to share more about Jesus because everything about the holidays truly does lend itself to helping kids understand the gospel. Why did Jesus come? Why are we celebrating his birth? What does that really mean for our lives? And also [00:06:00] to model what Jesus did for us and how it looks to be a follower of Christ.
And so take advantage of this season for discipleship. And the next one goes along with that with evangelize for your E. There are countless opportunities all around you, no matter what your kid's ages are to really share the gospel and love and hope that Jesus offers. And people are much more receptive to it during the holiday season, because even if they don't believe you.
They're looking at generosity. They're looking at these things and they're just more open to it. So take advantage of that time. Your F is focus on fun. And if you know anything about me, my whole mission is putting the fun and the fundamentals of family discipleship. And I think if you can just imagine in your mind that you're taking an old Polaroid.
Now, if you're super young, maybe you don't know what that is, but they're instant camera memories, right? Instead of having to print them or, you know, have them on a computer. And so if you think of like, how can I just take a snapshot and enjoy making a single moment of fun and whether [00:07:00] that's just that.
You're putting marshmallows in hot cocoa and you throw the marshmallows and say, let's have a snowball fight, you know, or just something unexpected. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we'll see. And we're from Idaho originally. So when we moved to Arizona and then Myrtle beach, we had no snow. And so we loved doing fun activities like that.
So we had to kind of get creative and you can do it with cotton balls and other things too, but just those things that are. Out of the ordinary, like those are what your kids are going to remember. So have fun with that. And your G is gather together. Remembering that Jesus gathered people, like that was his whole mission.
He was gathering together. He was breaking bread. And so take time in your holiday season to gather together with other people. That has a bigger impact that we know as well. And that goes with H, which is help those in need, right? Even if you're struggling financially, even if things are hard in your life, there are other people that are struggling too, probably more so.
And you have an opportunity to just reach [00:08:00] out and do something simple. It doesn't have to be elaborate to be able to help those in need. And that goes with I, which is invite the uninvited. This is again, something that we saw Jesus do so often think about who do I know that may be as far from family.
Who has lost a loved one who, you know, is feeling lonely or struggling with their health, or maybe can't go like gather people together. I have a friend and one of the things that she started for her tradition many years ago is she has a pie breakfast at Thanksgiving. And so she invites anybody who doesn't have family around to come gather together early in the morning and everybody brings a pie.
And they just get together and have a time. And that has become something that's really ministered to people, friends know they can invite anyone they've encountered that doesn't have somewhere to be, and it's just a great way to gather in the community and let people know that they're loved and seen and not forgotten.
So invite that uninvited. And then the last, we're not going to go through all the alphabet, but J is just remember that Jesus is the reason for the [00:09:00] season. And I think if you. Keep that at the forefront of your mind. It becomes kind of the gauge to decide like what's important and where you can prioritize your time and your money and, um, just your energy for it.
So that's kind of how our family has built this idea of keeping Christ in Christmas. Okay, so for those who want to hear the rest of the alphabet, because that was really, really helpful, where can they find that? Is that in your book? Um, it's not in my book in that type of format. Honestly, I haven't finished out the alphabet for that, but I think if you find the book, you'll see that all of these types of ideas are listed in ways throughout the book.
Maybe someday I'll finish that alphabet. So if you send me a link to that, I'll include it in the show notes for this. So anybody can grab that if they'd like to, I love to ask people that I interview on this show. If you could somehow share just one tip with the entire world at one time, what would you share with them?[00:10:00]
I would share it's a good question. I would say give yourself and everybody around you grace. I think We live in a world that is so we're so hard on ourselves and we're so hard on others and we're all just trying to do the best we can. And when God tells us his grace is sufficient, he really does mean that.
And so I always look at giving God my best and just trusting him to do the rest. So, you know, no season have I ever gotten all the way through an advent book, perfect attendance, you know, no season have I done all the things that I want, you know, it's never been a perfect Christmas, right? There's no, that.
But if you'll just give yourself grace and give others grace, I think it makes all the difference in the world. That's so good. So how about some of your favorite family traditions? Can you share some of those with us? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I have a million and the book definitely incorporates a lot of them.
Like I said, we love the holidays and we really take, we've always taken kind of the month of [00:11:00] December to really just focus on fun holiday activities where we can. Um, some of our favorites, baking is obviously a big thing. If you look at my books, they all incorporate baking, um, because those were some of the best memories I have even of my mom at Christmas time, you know, she was a busy single mom of five kids.
But during the holiday, she took time to bake treats and, you know, those were really special memories. And I find that when you're baking with your kids, you can have the most unfiltered conversations and the connection is just beautiful. And again, those are such wonderful memories that really help kids to connect with you and share their little hearts and find joy together in the kitchen.
So we love to bake. One of the other things we really enjoy doing is we have a door decorating contest. And we've done this since the kids were toddlers. And I say contest loosely, okay? Because we are all way too competitive to actually try and vote and win. There would be tears and fighting and that would not go well for our life.
So it's really an event, but we just take time. And whether we use a big paper roll or some years, we've just used pieces of paper. Um, [00:12:00] and we each just decorate our interior door to our bedroom, and that has been a fun journey to see the kids grow each year and get more creative and artistic, and it's something that's a fun decoration inside where they enjoy that memory together.
So we love doing door decorating contests. And then all of your kind of, you know, they love to do gingerbread house decorating, and we decorate sugar cookies. Um, we always bake treats and deliver them to our neighbors. And that has been a great evangelistic tool as well, to just share the love of Christ and something delicious with those who maybe don't have family.
Or like I said, we've encountered people, you know, who are suffering through grief and loss and different things. And so a cute little kid showing up on their doorstep with. Some homemade cookies, you know, really has a bigger impact than what you would think it could have. So those are probably in a nutshell, a few of them, but we always do like a countdown.
So every day before Christmas, we do something simple and we keep them very inexpensive things like having a hot cocoa bar, you [00:13:00] know, where they get to put a few treats in a hot cocoa, having a movie night, you know, where we're watching Christmas movies, looking at holiday lights, displays. Um, like I said, the snowball fight with the marshmallows or things like that.
We just do something fun, holiday related. We try to each day. Like I said, we've never succeeded in doing it every single day, but it's always the goal when we start the month. Thank you. So I'd like to close with maybe a tough question, because let's say we've got parents who maybe haven't always been that strong in their faith, or just are just now waking up to the commercialization of the holidays.
And so maybe they've got kids who are 10, 11, 12, and that are used to having years of it being all about them, and it's over consumption and all the products and things like that. How can that parent Kind of wind things down, overcoming that mom guilt and fear that their child isn't going to like [00:14:00] it or their child is going to not have as great of holiday memories because they're used to one thing.
Yeah, that's a great question. And I'd say that I, you know, I went through that too. And I think the first thing is just begin where you are, do what's reasonable, you know, like I, Did the overbuying presents and all our family overbought, you know, so our kids were used to this big elaborate Christmas. And so we slowly whittled that down, but I think it's the adding in the something more.
So you may not take away what you've done, but it's just starting to shift the focus. And that's where a merry and bright adventure would be a great fit for you. Because with the book, you're looking at how 25 of the most common sights and sounds of the holidays is. Can actually point you to Jesus, and it shares a little bit of the history of how they got started.
And so if you take this short interactive family devotion, and you just read the devotion, whether it's at dinner time or bedtime or, you know, breakfast time, whatever, um, it gets the conversation started. We include some discussion questions for you in there. So whether you're brand [00:15:00] new to your faith or you've been in it a long time, you've got a place to go to guide the conversation with your kids.
And then we have a fun family activity and they're simple things, you know, like a flashlight walk and looking at holiday lights or maybe doing a simple craft. I'm not a crafty mom. So everybody breathe if you hear the word craft and you panic, um, they're very, very easy things to do. And then we have some sort of a recipe and we actually provide 31 recipes.
So it fits whether you've got dietary restrictions, or you're trying to be healthier or, you know, different things come up in your day. So we give you a lot of options to help you as you're doing it. And each 1 of those has a little script. that talks about how you can teach a biblical truth tied in with what you're making for the day.
So these are really simple open and go. Like I said, if you pick it up and you open to the middle of it, you know, you're going to find something and it doesn't have to be every day. Um, there's beautiful full color pictures inside of it, you know, so it's a fun way to just start [00:16:00] changing their perspective.
And that's really the heart behind the book is if you think about Where you've always focused on, say, Santa or presents or, you know, what you're going to get or, you know, those sorts of things. When you now see that the Christmas tree actually has so much symbolism with the gospel, you know, for example, understanding that it's a triangle, you know, which helps us understand Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
And it's an evergreen tree, which symbolizes eternal life and the promises of God. And it points us upward, which keeps our eyes focused on Jesus. For You're teaching your kids, no matter their age, whether they're toddlers or teens, to shift the way they look at the holidays. And so now all of these symbols that we see in stores and at friends houses and parties and all around us become gospel memory pegs where we can remember the truths about Jesus.
And all throughout the book are opportunities to help you learn to be more generous, learn to share the gospel in very simple and easy ways. And so even if. That you're [00:17:00] brand new to the faith. This is your first Christmas season. Um, as a follower of Christ, or maybe you're not even there yet. This book gives you the opportunity to together grow and go on a journey of discovery.
And all of our faith is a journey of discovery, right? Like we're all Growing more like Christ each day. And so it doesn't matter where you are. It just matters that you begin now and, and just say, God, help me. That's something I pray every single day. James one, five tells us that if we lack wisdom, he'll give it to us.
Right. And so I am always praying, God, give me wisdom, help me to know how to tackle this problem. Help me to, you know, shift their hearts, shift my heart and just walk on that journey together. And you'd be amazed at how Much the Lord does when you just give him your heart as an offering. Absolutely right.
Well, thank you so much Katie How can the audience connect with you if they want to learn more from you? We'll link your book But do you have like an instagram page they could find you on as well? Yeah, absolutely. So [00:18:00] the best way to get all my resources and everything is my website Which is katiejtrent.
com and I spell katie differently. So katie is k a t i e J Trent dot com. I'm sure you'll link that and it's the same for social media. So you can find me at Katie J. Trent on Facebook those types of things. So I'd always love to connect with you.
I hope you found this episode valuable, friend, and I pray that you're walking away with a new insight, perspective, or idea to implement. Remember that God gives you everything you'll ever need to thrive. And I appreciate that you've taken the time to spend here with us today. If you enjoy our podcast, Please subscribe so you never miss an episode.
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