Interview with Elizabeth
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[00:00:00] Today on Raising Faithful Families, we have a lovely interview guest and she's going to really help us dig into God's design for our children, especially in a world with the LGBTQ ideology. How do we talk to our kids when it comes to that topic? How do we prepare them? How do we strengthen them? How do we protect them?
And I know that that is a question that is on many of your hearts and minds. So I can't wait to share this interview with you. So today we have Elizabeth Urbanowitz. She's the CEO of Foundation Worldview, and they are committed to helping children build a Christian worldview in the formative years. So they have curriculum for children that are four to 14 years old and a lot of different resources for parents.
So I'm going to have her tell us a little bit more about what she does and who she is, and then we'll get started. Yes. Well, thanks so much for having me on today, Katie. It's really a joy to be with you. And as you said, at [00:01:00] Foundation Worldview, we create resources that help Christian parents develop a biblical worldview in their children.
Because as you know, Christian parents are very busy raising children involves a lot of work. And so a lot of times parents are working so hard to meet the physical needs of their children and trying to read scripture with them and raise them faithfully. But the world is throwing so much at our kids these days.
It can be confusing knowing how we can train them to think well, so that any time they encounter an idea in the world, that they have the skills that they need to pause, to ask themselves what they've just been confronted with. And then to have the skills to discern is what I just heard true, or is it not true?
Does it line up with scripture or does it not line up with scripture? So at Foundation Worldview, we're passionate about creating easy to use resources that can just equip parents to have these really important conversations with their children so they can equip [00:02:00] them to think and live faithfully in a very hostile world.
That's perfect and so needed. So today we have Elizabeth here to talk to us about how to speak with our children and raise them up in a world where this LGBTQ plus ideology is just so rampant and there's so many different opinions and it seems like these ideas are being pushed in their direction. So how can we prepare our kids for that with a biblical worldview?
Do you have anything I'll see you later. Yeah, I really like the way that you set up that, you know, saying, you know, how do we prepare our kids with a biblical worldview in this current culture where they're being pushed so much, so many ideas about gender and sexuality. And I really love that you put the emphasis on the biblical worldview piece, because I think the mistake that we often make as we're raising children and trying to help them, you know, just.
Confront all of the different things that they're being faced with is we [00:03:00] wait to say anything until they're confronted with some of the lies of our culture. And then we try to help them see how those lies are not the truth without ever having built up a foundation for truth for what actually does the Bible has to say, have to say about the goodness and the beauty of God's design.
So I love the way that you set that up right there. And then, yes, happy to talk about all this today. So this topic can be a little challenging now, a little sensitive. So the first question, I want to start with something kind of hard. Let's say your child comes home and they're telling you that they now identify with this, with whether they're saying that they, Um, they're bisexual, they're homosexual, or they're interested in transitioning, even their genders.
How can a parent first react to that? How would you support them through that? Yeah, well the first thing that I would encourage a [00:04:00] parent To do is to remain calm. That's not an easy thing to do in these conversations, but I would just encourage parents to say, you know, how you respond at first is really going to set the tone for how you're going to move forward in this conversation with.
Your child. So I would recommend stay calm. Thank your child for sharing this with you. And if you have the presence of mind at the moment to ask some questions, to just gather some more information, not to try to change things or to clean everything up right then, but just to gather more information, to know what to do in the future, you can ask them questions like, you know, how long have you been feeling this way?
You know, when did you start to think about this? You know, have you shared this with anyone else? However, I know many parents might not have the presence of mind in the moment to be able to ask questions like that, because it just comes as such a shock. So if that happens, I would encourage parents, you know, just to thank their [00:05:00] child for, for, you know, loving them enough to share this with them and say, you know, I'm going to want to learn more about this, you know, in the days to come.
I think for right now, I just need a little bit of time to think through this, but I just want you to know that I'm so grateful that you've shared this with me. So that would be my initial encouragement to parents. Um, if your parent, if a parent listening is parenting teens, there's a really great book out there that's called across the kitchen table, talking about trans with your teens.
Um, that's a phenomenal resource to help you think clearly through what kind of questions can you ask your child and even just to understand. The different types of transgenderism there are out there, you know, because if your child comes home from school and they're saying they think they're trans, but what they really mean is they just want to be an advocate for those that they feel, you know, are marginalized or downtrodden, that's vastly different than a child that's actually struggling with genuine gender [00:06:00] dysphoria, where they actually feel like their inner emotional world doesn't match with their outer reality.
Now, neither of those things are true. Neither of those things are the way of God, but the way that you address those things is vastly different. And that's what that book across the kitchen table really helps parents do for parents of younger kids. You know, if you have a child who. Is really under the age of 12 or 13, and they're saying this to you, if they were genuinely experiencing gender dysphoria where their inner emotional world does not match their outer biological reality, you probably would have known this from an early age because genuine gender dysphoria usually starts to present itself.
Around the age of three or four, you know, where you see Children gravitating towards toys that most Children of the opposite gender gravitate towards Children gravitating towards friendships. So most of the [00:07:00] time, if your child is experiencing genuine gender dysphoria, you would know of it from a very early age.
So if you have no inkling of this. At being an issue with your child and your child is under the age of 12 or 13, and they're coming home and telling you they think that they're struggling with this, then your job over the next few weeks and months is going to be to investigate and to ask good questions to figure out where this is coming from, because this is coming from the influence of teachers in the classroom.
Your child's relationship with God, your child's future, your child's understanding of their identity is too important for you to keep them in that classroom to have their identity, you know, just torn down and you need to get them out of that situation. If this is coming from a friend, you know, a friend who's just talking about this all the time.
I'm not saying that you need to totally cut that friend out of your child's life, but you're going to need to put up some really firm. boundaries there. So that would be my recommendation, whether it's a teen, [00:08:00] um, or whether it's a child who is younger, um, just to really stay calm and investigate what's going on so that you know, a wise way to proceed.
Okay. So what if you do your investigation and your child is one of the ones who does have genuine body dysphoria? What do you suggest? Yeah. Well, with that, um, there, there's different things that you're going to want to do at different. Ages. Um, so would highly recommend for anyone who. Who does do this type of investigation and figures out, Okay, my child is genuinely struggling.
I want to be very clear here that I'm here as an expert in talking with children about things. I am not a child psychologist, so highly recommend you check out focus on the family as they're as they're The organization, they have some really great resources, um, on genuine gender dysphoria and thing and places where you can contact where you can get counseling for your child, because you're not just going to want to take them to [00:09:00] any old counselor, because most counselors are going to be affirming and rather than helping your child.
You know, work towards matching their inner emotional world with the outer objective reality of their body. Rather than working towards that, most counselors are going to say, okay, now what we have to do is we have to change the body and we have to change your environment. So it matches your feelings.
And that's the last thing that you want. So if you have, you know, if you're, you're working with a four year old and you're noticing that the four year old is gravitating, you know, towards playing house and playing with dolls and art and other things, there's nothing wrong with those things. You know, like there's nothing wrong with a, with a boy who is gravitating towards wanting to play house or the arts.
But what you're going to want to do is at those young ages, really affirm that he is a boy. created in God's image and God has given him such wonderful gifts. So, you know, if you have a boy that really loves, you know, playing with baby dolls, say, I am so grateful that God created you as a [00:10:00] boy who is so sensitive and who has a heart for taking care of babies.
I love that about you. Isn't it amazing that God made you a boy like that? So just at these young ages. They're consistently hearing themselves affirmed, you know, through your eyes as the gender that God has created them and also affirming the giftings that God has given them. Now, if you have a little boy who's wanting to dress up like a girl consistently, that's something that you're going to want to stop and say, you know what?
God designed you as a boy and that's a really good thing. So you know what? We're not going to pretend that you're a girl, but you can still be a boy who likes. to do ballet, or you can still be a boy who likes to play house. So those things really just affirming their maleness or their femaleness with older, um, children, if, if they are genuinely experiencing gender dysphoria, highly recommend that you check out biblical counseling for them rather than just taking them to a secular psychologist.
If there's no biblical counselors in your area, [00:11:00] there's a great biblical counseling center in Illinois. It's just biblical counseling center. org. And they do both. in person and online counseling. So highly recommend that you check out that resource because they'll be able to offer guidance, um, both from scripture and from the perspective of really understanding teens well to, um, to guide you there.
I love that you gave those resources because I think it is very important. Like we, we understand that our child needs therapy, but maybe we don't realize that. Taking them to just any therapist may not be truly helping them in the way that God would want for us to help them and how you're not ever suggesting that we just say, this is wrong.
Absolutely not. You can't do that. You're understanding that there's something going on in their mind, something going on in their heart, in their world, and they need your help. They don't need your judgment or your righteousness. They need your help and your love. And there is still a way to get them aligned with what God sees for them without hurting them in the [00:12:00] process.
And then also I liked your point on the difference between a child who wants to pretend to be the opposite gender and a child who likes to play with the other types of toys. I have always kind of like a pet peeve, I guess, when a little boy plays with dolls or play house and they get told, Oh, why are you playing with girl toys?
Because they're going to grow up and be a father too. They're going to grow up and have a home that they have to take care of. So those little things I've never seen as like girl versus boy, you know? But a lot of people do, and a lot of people give that feedback to your children, maybe whether at school or maybe other family members.
Do you have suggestions for how to sort of teach the people around you that are also involved in your child's life, how you want them to speak to your child? To align with your values in this type of thing? Yeah, that's a good question. And I think it depends on the situation. Um, because we obviously [00:13:00] can't control everything that our Children are going to encounter, nor do we want to because that's one of the issues that we're seeing right now with young teens and early 20 somethings is that they've been raised in environments where their parents have tried to kind of like control everything around them.
And then they get in situations where not everyone makes them feel the way they want to, and they kind of freak out. So if it's a situation, you know, where Um, you know, you have a child and your parents or your in laws, you know, people who are consistently in your life, or maybe people in your small group at church where they're making some of those negative comments towards your child.
And this is going to be like a consistent relationship. I think that's where you can have a conversation. With them, you know, a loving conversation and say, you know, I'm so grateful for the way that you're, you know, consistently investing in my children. And I really want you to continue to invest in their lives.
I just want you to know that, you know, like, yes, our daughter is more drawn to sports or she is more drawn to trucks or our son, you know, is more drawn to ballet or playing house. [00:14:00] But we think that these things are great gifts and the way that we. Approach this is we try to affirm her femaleness or his maleness and say that we're so grateful that God has made them a girl or God has made them a boy who likes these things.
And so we'd really appreciate, you know, if when we're around you, if you could do the same thing, or if you don't feel comfortable with that, you know, that's fine, but just please don't try to draw them away, you know, to other toys, because we are, we're fine with them playing with these and we're fine. You know, just affirming that these are the likes and dislikes.
God has given them as distinctly male or distinctly female. So that's what I would recommend. Um, if it's somebody that's, that's close to you and that you're going to be seeing consistently, you know, if it's just another mom on the playground, or if it's, you know, somebody that you see every once in a while, you know, if you.
Think that it's really important. You can have that conversation with them, but I think that's also an opportunity to have a conversation with your child. If your child notices, because if we're talking about a four or [00:15:00] five year old, unless they're incredibly observant, chances are that adults comments went straight over their head.
But if they didn't, you know, like if they're a very astute four or five year old, or if we're talking about an eight, nine or 10 year olds, Who is more socially aware and is going to get these things. It would be appropriate then to say, you know what I, I noticed today, you know, when we were with Mr. So and so or Mrs.
So and so that they made this comment and you know what they were wrong when they said that, that I don't think that they have a really clear understanding of what it means for God to make us as male or female in his image. You know what? And I'm sorry that they said that I imagine that probably hurt.
And you know what? Even as an adult, people say things to me that hurt. So, you know what? We're just going to practice what Jesus has taught us that we're going to forgive that person and we're going to love that person. So that would be my recommendation, whether it's someone that your children are going to consistently see or someone, you know, that they're just interacting with in the community.
Thank you for that. Honestly, so many parents want to [00:16:00] approach situations like that, but they just can't formulate the right words. How can I say this in a way that won't cause conflict? And you did that so perfectly. So I know that would be very helpful. Now, my next question is, A lot of, a lot of families, especially a lot of Christian families now are shifting out of public school.
They're becoming afraid of public school because of this type of ideology that they're not sure they can protect their children from being exposed to in certain ways. Do you have a way for the parents that don't have that option? And they're going to have to send their children to public school. How do you start those conversations?
And when do you start those conversations? Yeah, that's a good question. And I really think it, you know, it depends on the family and it depends on the child. Um, you know, you and I were talking before Katie about how, you know, we both live in the Southern, the Southeastern portion of the United States and things in the Southeast.
in the United States are vastly different than they are in [00:17:00] Southern California, you know, or New York. And so I think different decisions need to be made based on the region, based on the child, based on the financial situation. So for parents who are thinking, you know, they would maybe prefer not to do public school with their child, but they don't feel like there's any other option.
I think the most important thing No matter what educational setting we choose for our children is that we're intentional about it. You know, you could send your children to public school and be very unintentional and just be like, well, we'll see how it goes. You could homeschool your children and be very unintentional about it, you know, and just say, well, we'll see how it goes.
And I think, uh, same thing with Christian school or, you know, non Christian private school. And I think intentionality is key because if we're not intentional, we're not going to be having. Purposeful conversations with our Children. We're not going to be aware of what they're being taught or what they're not being taught.
We're not going to be aware of how is it impacting them because you can have two Children the same exact age, even from the [00:18:00] same exact family in the same exact educational environment, and it's going to impact them differently. So I think the word that all parents should have in their minds when it comes to education is intentionality.
And then thinking about how to prepare children for a secular education environment, even if that would not be our first choice, I think what we need to, to prepare our children with as they enter that academic setting is, um, a term I'm going to, it's going to sound confusing when I first say it, and then I'm going to explain it.
I think we need to give them transferable skills. And what I mean by transferable skills are basic skills. in careful thinking that they can transfer in any and every situation. And I'll tell parents to think about it like reading. When a child is taught how to read, what you could do is you could have that child sit down and memorize a list of words.
And then the next week you could have them memorize another list of words. And you can have them memorize words every week until eventually they knew [00:19:00] 10, 000 words and they could read those 10, 000 words. And that would be great. However, anytime they encountered a new word, they would need to come to you for help actually decoding and understanding that word.
Instead, what we do when we teach children how to read is we teach them 26 individual letters. And the corresponding sounds that go along with those letters, then we have them practice putting those letters and sounds together to form words until eventually with those 26 letters that they know, they can read any word that they encounter by the time they're in third or fourth grade, because we've given them transferable skills.
And that's the same thing with thinking clearly, we cannot possibly pair our children for every situation they're going to encounter. But we can give them several transferable skills that they can implement in any situation. For example, one transferable skill that is so needed at any age is [00:20:00] understanding the difference between truths that are objective, meaning they're outside of us.
The truth of the, of them does not depend on our inner feelings or thoughts or desires. So truths versus feelings, which feelings are internal and they're subjective and they're going to change from person to person. And so one of the things we do at Foundation Worldview in all of our initial curriculums is we have an entire unit focused on truths and then feelings.
And we teach kids a simple definition, just that truth is what is real. And then with little ones, we play an easy game. We say, okay, we're going to play a game. We're going to tell you some sentences. Some of them are going to be true. That means they're going to show you what's real. If we tell you a sentence that's true, we want you to hold out your arms like an X and say true.
And then we're going to tell you some not true sentences, some sentences that do not show what's real. And when you hear a sentence, that's not true. We want you to cross your arms like an X and say, not true. Then we give them just a bunch of sentences like puppies are baby dogs. That's true. That is what is real.
And then [00:21:00] puppies run on the ceiling. Oh my goodness. That's so silly. That is not true. And we just give them this true, not true paradigm. Then, after they've gotten good at that, we introduce the concept of feelings, and we say feelings are inside of us, and they can feel really big. And sometimes feelings are going to be the same as other people.
Sometimes they're going to be different. And so we teach them then to, you know, like whenever they're going to encounter something that's a feeling to hug themselves and say feelings. And then we play that true, not true game and include feelings. So we do the same things like puppies are baby dogs.
That's true. Puppies run on the ceiling. That's not true. And then we say something like puppies are fun. And then we'll say. Most people feel like puppies are fun, but some people, when puppies are chewing on their sofa, do not feel like puppies are fun. And so we just give them these categories of true, not true feeling, and kids very naturally start to think in those ways when we introduce those terms.
And then they can take those skills and implement them in real life situations. We actually had a, um, a [00:22:00] mom right into our company to tell us how that true, not true feelings paradigm really helped her son, that her son was in a public school. He was in second grade. He came home from school one day, he got in the car, in the car line.
And the mom said, you know, Hey, buddy, how was your day? And he was like, mom, it was a really weird day. And she said, well, what made it weird. And he explained that his. Teacher was absent and they had a substitute and the substitute was a man. However, the substitute was wearing a dress and had the class call him Mrs.
So and so. And you know, the mom said that internally she's kind of freaking out because they haven't had any conversations about transgenderism yet. And here, her son has just been exposed to it, you know, in a really big way for eight hours. And so she said she remained calm and she just asked him, she said, well, well, buddy, what did you think about that?
And he surprised her and he said, mom, it was so sad. And she was a little bit shocked. And she said, what makes you say it was sad? And he was like, mommy, the truth is that God created him as a boy, but instead of believing the truth, he was believing his feelings that he [00:23:00] was a girl. And so the mom said, she immediately started crying that she was so grateful though, that he was able to take this basic skillset that she had.
Given to him and implemented in a culturally charged situation that she had no idea he was going to encounter that she was not there for it. So that's what I would encourage parents to do. Who are sending their kids in public school to start off with that start off giving the basic definition of truth that truth is what is real and just start playing this game of true, not true versus feelings when you're with your kids in the car and then everything that comes home from school, start asking, is this true?
Is this not true? Is this a feeling so that your kids just naturally have this paradigm so that Anything they're confronted with in the classroom. They're going to have these mental categories so that they're not just blindly absorbing every single thing that they're taught. That's so helpful, honestly, that will strengthen them for their friends that have different opinions and different upbringings as well.
So I [00:24:00] love that. And if our listeners want to work with you or. How can they get your curriculum for their own kids so they can learn those lessons from you? How can they do that? Yes. So if you can remember our company name, which is foundation worldview, you go to foundation worldview. com. And so on that website, we have all of our resources.
We have both our free resources and our resources that you can purchase. And if anyone is interested in purchasing a family license of 1 of our curriculums, if you use the coupon code family, 10, you can get 10 off of any family license. Awesome. Thank you so much. And then there's one question I'd like to ask everyone that we interview.
If you could share one tip with every parent in the world at one time, which tip would you choose? Oh, that's a really great question. I love that question, Katie. I think if I could share one tip with every single parent, it would be, don't think that you are too busy to [00:25:00] spend time in God's word. Because if we want to raise children who know and love God, Jesus, we have to make sure that we are growing in our knowledge and love for Jesus.
So don't get tricked by the enemy to believe that you can just coast on what you've learned in the past, that you just like every single Christian needs time with God's word. So that would be my encouragement to all parents. Absolutely true. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on.
I hope you found this episode valuable friend and I pray that you're walking away with a new insight perspective or idea to implement Remember that God gives you everything you'll ever need to thrive And I appreciate that you've taken the time to spend here with us today If you enjoy our podcast, please subscribe so you never miss an episode And if you wouldn't mind just take 30 seconds to leave a review So that we can continue to reach more parents like us.
I would appreciate that so much So, so much. Reach out if there's any way [00:26:00] I can support you. And I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for listening.
