Shepherding Principles for Everyday Parenting Challenges
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[00:00:00] Parenting is a journey filled with some high highs and some low lows. There's great joy, but there's also some pretty significant challenges. In our last episode, Be Their Shepherd, Not Their God, we explored the idea of guiding our children like a shepherd, using leadership that's driven by love, patience, and wisdom, rather than asserting control.
However, we had a great question that was submitted through our community, What does this shepherding approach actually look like in the face of everyday tantrums, disobedience, and other typical parenting trials? So, you're right. It's one thing to discuss shepherding in the abstract. It's quite another entirely to actually apply it to the moments when your toddler sprawled out on the supermarket floor, or your teenager is pushing every boundary with practiced expertise.
In these everyday trials, your shepherding role may be put to the test. Do you want to create peace in your home and [00:01:00] be the best parent you possibly can be? Are you ready to feel confident and clear in your decisions? Do you wish you could navigate conflicts and challenges calmly and effectively? Well, there's a way to overcome the roadblocks that are standing between you and the family life you've prayed for so that you can create consistent routines, find fulfillment and balance, and thrive in your life and family.
Hi friends, I'm Katy Bordeaux, host of Raising Faithful Families, founder of Covenant Collections Christian Parenting Company, and a certified parenting and family coach. In this podcast, I'll guide you on how to find balance and fulfillment without adding stress or sacrificing precious time, create peace in your home, become the parent God has called you to be, strengthen your connection with God and with your family, navigate life using biblical wisdom and Christian values, and experience growth spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and practically as a parent [00:02:00] and as an individual.
I'm here to help your family be its best for each other so that you can be your best for the kingdom of God. It's time to create a home filled with love, faith, and true joy. Let's thrive together with God at the center every step of the way. I pray this blesses you. Let's get started. So shepherds use boundaries to protect and guide their flock, making sure they're safe and well cared for.
Similarly, setting clear boundaries for our children provides them with a structured, secure environment when they know what's expected of them. And they know the limits of acceptable behavior. Children feel more secure and they're more likely to thrive. For example, if a child throws a tantrum or disobeys you, consider this a moment to gently guide them back within the boundaries, much like a shepherd does when a sheep strays.
This is less about punishment and more about correction, structure, and maintaining your expectations. [00:03:00] These are all essential for their growth and their understanding of the world at their age. Psalm 23 to offers a very beautiful illustration. He makes me lie down in green pastures or in my study Bible.
That's a CSB version. He lets me lie down in green pastures. This 1st isn't about coercion or force. It's a representation about how the shepherd provides so fully for the needs of the sheep that lying down is a natural response. Apply this to parenting and you see that leadership is about creating an environment where children can relax into the guidance that you provide because all of their fundamental needs, physical, emotional, and spiritual are met.
They trust in your leadership enough to rest in it, the way that we do in the leadership of our shepherd. Just like the sheep in that viral video I'm sure you've seen, where they rescue the sheep out of a ditch, and right away it gets out, it runs with like, relief for a few [00:04:00] seconds, and then jumps directly back into the ditch.
Children may often repeat mistakes. Even with their greatest leader in the world, they won't be exempt from learning a few lessons of their own the hard way. They may not understand the dangers or they may just forget them in the moment. Our role is to correct and to lead with consistency, patience, and love.
This might mean reinforcing boundaries more frequently or even adjusting them to better suit their growth and their understanding. While we set boundaries, kind of like fences for sheep, These aren't to confine their spirits, but to free them while offering protection. Within these boundaries, children can explore, make mistakes, and learn, knowing that they're safe and loved.
They may not always understand your boundaries and they may choose to challenge them, but they also learn to trust in your consistent leadership as their shipper. Embracing that role means providing for their needs to the extent that [00:05:00] they feel genuinely secure enough to lie down in the comfort and peace that you've created.
It means leading by example, guiding when they stray, and protecting them from harm, always within the loving boundaries that you've set. Shepherding is much bigger than just managing behavior. It's nurturing their hearts. And when you understand the heart behind the behavior, you'll see how truly beneficial this approach is.
Your leadership guides them not only towards appropriate behavior, but also towards a deeper understanding of what it means to be loved, valued, and cared for under the watchful eyes of both the earthly and heavenly shepherds. In your moments of doubt or challenge, I want you to remember that the ultimate shepherd is guiding you as you guide your little ones.
So lean on him and trust in his oversight for justice. He cares for you. You care for the precious little children that he has entrusted to you. If the journey [00:06:00] of parenting with love and leadership speaks to you and a foundation of faith is important to you, consider joining the Calm and Confident Club.
Our club is more than a community. It's an opportunity to transform your parenting approach in a way that fills you with confidence and insight. On the topic of leadership inspired parenting alone, there are nine detailed lessons that are dedicated to giving you the framework you need to unlock the efficiency and peace that you desire in your home.
You'll also find so much more that allows you to unlock the calmest version of yourself for your family, lean on a supportive network of like minded parents and build lifelong connections with your children. You can learn more and join us at covenantcollections. com slash club. Now let's go over a few specific examples so you can visualize how to actually apply these principles in those everyday scenarios.
So let's say this scenario is a toddler tantrum in public. You should stay [00:07:00] calm and address the child at their level. Acknowledge their feelings and gently remind them of behavior expectations in public. Offer them a simple choice. You can say any type of choice is going to help them regain control.
That's what they want. A tantrum is fighting for control. So give them a sense of control in a way that doesn't give in to the tantrum. You can offer that they choose to calm down and get to continue shopping or you'll go home. Or you could just say, would you like to hold my keys or would you like to hold the bananas?
The key is to only offer options that you're actually willing to enforce. Don't make going home a choice if you're not actually willing to follow through. Another scenario could be your teenager really pushing the boundaries. You should discuss those specific boundaries being tested and why they exist.
Then listen to their point of view and consider making adjustments if it's reasonable. Show them that you respect their growing [00:08:00] independence. reinforce the consequences of stepping outside those boundaries and the trust based rationale behind them. The key here is not to equate discussion with disrespect.
It's very important for teenagers to actually get to practice and grow in their communication skills, and it's important for us as parents to allow that growth and adaptability. Now, let's say the scenario is repeating mistakes and the growing pains of learning. Instead of expressing frustration, use these situations as teaching moments.
Discuss what went wrong and explore better choices for the future together. Encourage them by acknowledging the learning aspect of mistakes. Reinforce that every error is a step towards growth. The key is to be mindful of the trigger or the root cause behind the choice or behavior, as that's what you truly need to address.
Without knowing your exact situation, [00:09:00] your individual approach, and your unique child's needs, it would be challenging to detail your exact ideal response. Having the right leadership skills in your parenting tool belt will allow you to adapt on the go and navigate situations as they arise with confidence and peace of mind.
So again, I encourage you to join us in the calm and confident club where together we can navigate the rewarding challenges of raising the next generation with faith, love and effective leadership. Your children deserve it, of course, but so do you. I hope this episode was valuable for you and I pray you're walking away with a new insight, perspective or idea to implement as you move forward.
Remember that God makes everything we truly need available to us. And the life you've prayed for is just waiting for you to take the next step If you enjoy this podcast Please subscribe and leave us a review so that we can continue showing up and reaching families who need this message Until next time [00:10:00] take care and stay blessed Thanks for listening
