day 10
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[00:00:00] I had a plan for today, you know, I had some really solid training on actual self care strategies and then. God does what God does best and made His will abundantly more clear to me. At church this morning, we had a sermon which was more so related to distractions at Christmas time, but it was just one of those sermons that feels like they're speaking directly to you.
Like, you're wondering, how did they know I needed to hear that? But it's so obvious because God knows I needed to hear that. Self care as a parent is, of all the topics we get, clarity, to get peace, to get efficiency, to get confidence, to get purpose, self care is the topic that for me makes me feel like, am I even qualified to help them with this?
Because no matter how much I know about it on paper, I still continue to struggle with it [00:01:00] personally. The opening point of our sermon today was that God is interested in the pace of your life. His plan for your life includes a space in between what you have and what you need. Psalm 127, 2 says, In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat, for He grants sleep to those He loves.
And in the notes that I jotted down during this sermon, many people are distracted not because they are not committed, but because they are over committed. That's one of the things that spoke directly to me and I needed to hear it. Have you ever heard someone say, if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy?
But why would he do that? How does us being too busy, being over committed, being stretched thin, how does that benefit the devil? Because we're easier to deceive when we're distracted. It's easier to fill us with worry. It's easier to fill [00:02:00] our lives with stress. Matthew 6 verses 25 to 32 says, Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes?
See how the flowers of the field grow? They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith?
So do not worry saying, what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear? [00:03:00] For the pagans run after all these things and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. If we are constantly worrying, we're not following God's plan for our lives. If we're constantly stressing, we're not following God's plan for our lives.
If we're constantly distracted, we're not even allowing ourselves the time to follow God's plan for our lives. So what is God's plan for your life? And what does any of this have to do with self care for parents? You know that feeling you have right now with two weeks until Christmas, with kids to make things magical for, with Christmas here and Christmas there to make certain dishes for and shop for different factions of the family?
With bills coming in left and right with work, keeping up with your home, being a good friend, maybe being a good spouse, if you're married, those very normal things. That leave us feeling like there's just not enough hours in the [00:04:00] day to do it all. I know I do, especially now. I love everything about what I'm building here with Covenant Collections and the impact that we're able to have on families around the world.
When I look at my podcast, Breakdown for the Christian Career Mom, and I see all the different countries of people downloading episodes, When I see the wide variety of people who join my Christian Parenting Community Facebook group, when I have someone reach out for help wanting one to one coaching that I'm not even advertising because I'm pouring everything into a new membership with a group coaching model, to have a bigger impact on a wider scale, and we have to work around a five hour time zone difference just to jump on a call and talk, when I get someone new on my email list, Every single new YouTube subscriber, when I tell you that every single person that I see being touched in any way by what we're doing, what we're sharing, what we're supporting you in, it means so [00:05:00] much to me.
When I see evidence that the impact is widespread, it makes such a difference in my energy because sometimes it's distracting, like, okay, I only have I only have X amount of subscribers. I only have X amount of people who are ready to become members. I only have X amount of clients. Okay, but There are families in well over 10 different countries who are following along and taking something away from it.
There are families in all different states who are getting something of value that can make a difference for themselves and their children. I thank God for this opportunity to do this every day and ask for his guidance in how to best do this every day. So that's why I'm being obedient to what I feel like was his shift for today's self care lesson rather than sticking with my original plan because I genuinely believe that the right people will hear this and those people are the ones that he wants to hear this.
Is your [00:06:00] life currently aligned with God's plan, or are you overcommitted and distracted? Sometimes through this challenge, while juggling making the daily training videos, the daily digital resources, also working full time as a healthcare director, also working on my doctorate, so I'm juggling homework.
Also, I'm a single mom and my son needs me, I have a family that needs me, I have household responsibilities, I have friends who call and ask if they can come over and talk while I'm so close to finishing something, and I can't bring myself to tell them now might not be the best time, because I know how hard it is for me to ask for help and I never want to disappoint anyone.
I have my own faith walk, and that on top of everything else, it can be a lot. Letting ourselves get distracted can hinder our worship and hinder our ability to live in our purpose. We have enough time to do every single thing that God has called us to [00:07:00] do. If we don't have time for it, or if making time for it distracts and pulls us away from God, then it's not something God has called you to do.
Now, let's talk about a huge common misconception. God will never allow you to take on more than you can handle. Yes, He will. But let me explain. In 1 Corinthians 10 verses 12 to 13, So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
And God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. The way out is God providing the way out. We can endure it because of Jesus. In Numbers 11, verses 16 to 17, the Lord told Moses to bring him leaders known to the people, and God would come down and take some of [00:08:00] the spirit power from Moses and give it to them.
He would do that so that he could share the burden of the people, not just from Moses. He would share that amongst the leaders. He told Moses this was so that he would not have to carry it alone. We get so caught up sometimes and I'm a hundred percent included in this. I get so caught up sometimes in just full faith that it's on my plate because I can handle it.
Or if it's on my plate, that's because God gave it to me. And maybe that's what Moses was thinking. Like, he's so busy. He's counseling thousands from sunup to sundown, and he's probably overwhelmed, but that's his burden to bear, right? God gave him that. He's doing God's work. But God was willing to take some of that burden from him so that he didn't have to carry it all alone.
I put a lot of my burden on myself. If [00:09:00] I'm being honest and God lets me do it, probably just because for a lot of us, it takes overwhelm to push us back towards him. It takes being at the end of our rope to say. God, I need your help. So of course He's going to let us get there, because He knows we need Him, and He needs us to know that we need Him.
When we take our burden to Him, He can take some of it so that we don't have to carry it alone. We can cast our fears and our pains and our anxieties onto Him. 1 Peter 5, 7 says to cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Actually six through 11, humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he caress for you. Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy, the devil. P prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist [00:10:00] him standing firm in the faith because you know that the family of believers through the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen. We can be restored, we can be at peace, we can be strong, we can be steadfast, we can be unburdened, but we need God to do any of those things.
Mani pedis and Topgolf and massages aren't gonna cut it. Those are band aids. They're nice, but they're hobbies, really. They aren't self care. They aren't real self care. Almost anything in any area, almost, is okay in moderation. But we need balance in our lives. We [00:11:00] can't say yes to everything. We can't say yes to everyone.
We can't run on empty. We have to be aware of the things and even the people who drain us of our energy. We have to guard ourselves and protect ourselves from those people and from those things. From unhealthy things and unhealthy people, from unkind people, from a completely overbooked schedule, from unnecessary guilt, from unnecessary anxiety.
We need to be aware also on the flip side of what refills us, what makes us feel stronger, what makes us feel better. Do more of that. That is your self care that can be rest, that can be worship, that can be prayer, that can be great friendships, great relationships, time with mentors, that can be time with mentors that you trust.
It can be time mentoring [00:12:00] others who trust you, but we need to know what refills us and we need to know what drains us. We need to know what things to run to and what things to run away from. We need to know and understand our limits, our human limitations. And realize that we aren't doing anyone any favors, including ourselves, including our families, including God, by pushing ourselves beyond them.
When I try to rest or relax sometimes, I feel guilty. Or it's really just hard to turn my brain off and not start thinking about what I could be doing instead. And looking at that time of rest like it's a chore, like it's yet another box to check on my to do list, like it's kind of a waste of my time. So I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and act like I've got this figured out because I don't.
But be aware of the fact that sometimes the things that [00:13:00] fuel us and the things that distract us could be the same. That doesn't mean that they're good or bad. That doesn't mean that we can't do them. But if we're filling our schedule even with all good things, even if you spend the first hour of every day in devotion, then you go feed the hungry.
Then you go house the homeless. Then you go walk the dogs at the animal shelter. You stop by church on the way home to lead a Bible study class. You spend your evening making gift boxes for the missionaries. And you spend your nights in worship before you go to bed. You could still very well be letting all those good things distract you from the best thing, from a relationship with God.
Are you using serving God to distract you from having a relationship with God? He could still very well say, depart from me, I never knew you, even if that is your life. That's kind of scary. [00:14:00] Even if those things are in honor of God, are they honoring God? Is He in control of our schedule? Are we checking boxes or are we living in our purpose?
Are we trying to earn our way to heaven or are our intentions entirely pure? Are we trying to find our worth and productivity? That's a big one. Or are we being intentional? Are we prioritizing the things that matter most? The ones that He has truly given us? Children are a gift from the Lord. Psalm 127. 3 says children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him.
Are we treating them like a gift? Are we handling them like a reward that was given to us from God? Are we following the lead of Jesus, who gave a lot in his time on earth, but he also rested? He was aware of his human needs, and he rested when he needed [00:15:00] to, and he asked for help when he needed help. He stepped away to spend time in prayer with God, because he knew that was the single most important thing.
He could have spent all day, every day, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, saving the lost. But he still took time away from all of that? Jesus did. To spend time alone with God, to spend time in prayer, to spend time connecting with his Father, because he wouldn't have been able to do everything that he needed to do and do it well if he had neglected the most important thing.
And he set so many examples for us of what we should be doing in our own lives. So we need to take notes from that. I'm going to close with another lesson that was in our sermon today at church. Close your eyes for a moment, and I want to ask you a question. Think about your life [00:16:00] right now. Think about everything you have going on, the good and the bad.
Think about your relationship with God. And now what is the first thing that comes to mind when I ask this question? What is the number one thing distracting you right now? Distracting you from putting the number one thing first. What is it? Now, this doesn't mean you have to stop that thing, or that this thing is bad for you, or that it's not from God, because it very well may be that it is your God given purpose that's distracting you.
But don't let it, whatever it is, distract you from God. Let it bring you closer to Him. Readjust it however you need to in order to prioritize what matters most and not drain yourself. And we don't have to wait till 2024 to do that. We can start now. I know I'm going to. I hope God used [00:17:00] today's lesson to speak to you in the exact way that you need it.
I hope you learned something. I hope you took away from it what was meant for you. Today's free resources for this challenge are the 30 day self care calendar and the self care affirmation cards, but I'm actually going to hold on to those until tomorrow because I don't want to hand you another distraction.
I want you to sit with this for a moment. And think about what it means for your life before we shift into gratitude and mindfulness tomorrow. Again, today, there's no new homework for your giveaway entry. You can go to covenantcollections. com slash club to learn more about what you'll receive if you win the giveaways.
That's our new membership, the Common Confident Club, which is an all inclusive, very affordable membership designed for Christian parents to help them achieve calm, confidence, balance, peace, efficiency in their homes and in their lives, to lead in our homes, to create unbreakable [00:18:00] bonds with our children, to connect with like minded parents and have a digital village and coaching support for those difficult or confusing times for only 7 a month.
With a VIP upgrade that will add group coaching, digital coaching, and one to one coaching opportunities on top of that. And our giveaway winners will be gifted the full VIP experience for an entire year for free. I'm going to go ahead and announce the rest of our giveaway winners tomorrow in the Christian Parenting Community Facebook group.
We have six winners so far, and I'll announce another six tomorrow. But for everyone else, anyone who gets signed up for the Calm and Confident Club between now and December 15th will get a complimentary upgrade to VIP for no additional cost. So you'll get everything inside of the Common Confident Club, plus all VIP benefits for only 7 a month.
And VIP will be available, but will go up to 27 a month after December [00:19:00] 15th. So if you're interested, go ahead and join us at covenantcollections. com slash club. And if you want another chance at being a giveaway winner, head over to the Christian Parenting Community Facebook group and make a post in the group.
To share your biggest takeaway from this challenge so far or just comment on any of the prior homework posts or the Q& A post. I'll go through each of those things tomorrow to choose our last six winners. I can't believe we only have two days left, and I'm so excited for tomorrow. I'm so excited to talk about gratitude and mindfulness, and I hope you all have a great night.