Are Boundaries Biblical?
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[00:00:00] Parenting can be. Yeah, well, let's just play it safe and say a lot to handle a lot to navigate a lot to learn and a lot to do. Eventually setting boundaries becomes somewhat of a practical necessity to maintain our sanity. But as Christians, sometimes that can feel like selfishness, like a lack of serving others. Like we're falling short. So today I want to share with you biblical support for setting boundaries, how to do so, why to do so and how important this is for your overall wellbeing and stress management as a parent.
Hey friends, it's Katy host of the Christian Career Mom podcast, founder of Covenant Collections, which is a company on a mission to empower parents to thrive in all things family and life, and author of soon to be released Christian children's book, Happy Are the People. Whether it's your first time listening or you've been here with us before, [00:01:00] the Christian Career Mom exists for the working Christian mamas who desire to live purposely, grow spiritually, and create a harmonious balance between their work, life, faith, and family.
We explore all the ways to tap into our God given wisdom and grace to find fulfillment in all areas of our lives. It's so important to have a supportive community to lean on, and that's exactly what we're here for. So grab a cup of coffee or your favorite drink, find a cozy spot to listen and let's dive in.
First, I think it's important to acknowledge that the Bible provides us guidance on setting boundaries to protect our hearts, our minds, and our families.
Proverbs 4 verse 23, advises us to guard our hearts because everything that we do flows from it, then in verse 26, give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. What we [00:02:00] do, why we do it and how we do it is so important. We're not called to do anything for anyone, any time we're caution to give careful thought to the things that we choose to do. We're also called to protect our hearts, where we were told to keep the word of God within us, because the word of God within us is where we draw life and health from. So, of course we need to guard and protect that. Now let's talk about some biblical examples of situations that required boundaries. We're called to be in the world. Not of the world to set our sights on God's guidance, even though it means we will be rejected and even hated by those who don't understand. Can you even imagine what that was like on a scale like Noah faced? No one, I mean, literally no one believed him or trusted what he knew to be true.
He was ridiculed and judged. Most of the time we're able to shield [00:03:00] ourselves from that level of harassment for our faith. At least we're privileged enough to do so in most areas here in the U S which I am extremely thankful for, but Noah didn't have online communities to reach out to. He didn't have. Christian friends and other cities to call. Apparently he didn't have a church family either.
If he was the only person him and his family. Who were deemed worthy of surviving the flood. He worked tirelessly on the arc in a time and place where rain was not the norm. People thought he was crazy and treated him like he was crazy. But he knew his calling from God was far more important than whether or not anyone else supported it.
And he placed. Impenetrable boundaries around that. He didn't allow anyone or anything to discourage or distract him. Sometimes your calling is going to require your focus to a degree. That doesn't allow you to spread yourself between many other commitments and put your God given tasks on hold to [00:04:00] accommodate everyone and everything else.
So be very careful that your faith driven focus is something you protect with as many boundaries as necessary. In Genesis. We learned that Abram and Lot who were related and who both had many blessings, many herds and many riches ran into conflict because of their proximity. There wasn't enough space for each of them to live in the same area and keep up all of their blessings.
Side-by-side. Genesis 13 verse 7 says that quarrelling began between Abram and lot's herders. The land was not strong enough to support them both. So despite being family. In order to protect what was theirs, protect their blessings and maintain peace among their families. They parted ways. In verses 9 and 10 Abram said to Lot, let's not have any quarreling between you and me or between your herders and mine [00:05:00] for we are close.
Relatives is not the whole land before you let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right. If you go to the right, I'll go to the left. In this case, a boundary was put in place even amongst family in order to protect one another's blessings and their peace. Also in Genesis, Joseph was highly favored by Potiphar ... Potiphar. That's my best guess.
Okay. He was placed in charge of the household and denied nothing, except for, of course, His master's wife, then wifey decided she wanted Joseph and made attempt after attempt to convince and seduce him to sleep with her. Joseph put up boundaries to protect the life and the blessings that he didn't want to lose. He didn't want to disappoint or disrespect Potiphar or God.
And he refused to give into her advances because of it. And even when she did her best to have him punished [00:06:00] and he was thrown into prison. God still protected him and brought him success because he followed God, not for his own benefit, but out of honor, and out of respect. Okay, one more. This one is one of my favorites. We talked about introducing boundaries in order to protect our God-given callings like Noah did. But in Exodus. Moses had allowed himself to get overwhelmed by his calling.
He was acting alone as judged to the people all day, every day, his father-in-law Jethro came and asked why. Of course, Moses said in verse 15, Because the people come to me to seek God's will. That's a big job. Moses is someone who God literally spoke to through a burning Bush, who he used to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
His calling was huge. We already have a hard enough time saying no and protecting our time from overwhelming responsibilities as it is. Can you imagine how much harder it would be [00:07:00] if we felt like single-handedly serving thousands of people from sunup to sundown was our. Individual responsibility. That that was God's expectation of us. His father-in-law was right to be concerned with his ability to maintain this. And Jethro said in verse 17, what you are doing is not good.
You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you. You cannot handle it alone. Then in verse 13, if you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain. And all these people will go home satisfied. As humans. We have to understand that we have limitations. We also often can struggle with recognizing and honoring those limitations, which I am guilty of. Moses incorporated boundaries in order to delegate some of this work. And not burn himself out so we can too. [00:08:00] Even Jesus rested when he was tired.
I remind myself of that constantly. Because he was both God and man, his body had human body limitations. God rested on the seventh day of creation. Not because he had to, but likely to lead by example for our benefit. God told us to rest on the Sabbath to work for six days and have a day of rest. I don't think we're sinning when we don't take an entire day off from work, but I think there's a lot of wisdom worth paying attention to in that. Number one, take the time to honor God to be present with him daily, constantly. And number two, take the time to rest and recharge.
We can not perform at our best if we do not rest. Boundaries allow us to protect each of these things. I want to talk a little bit about another example that Jesus provides us. In Matthew 12 verses 46 to 50. We see one [00:09:00] example of Jesus holding boundaries. While Jesus was still talking to the crowd. His mother and brothers stood outside wanting to speak to him.
Someone told him your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to speak to you. He replied to him, who is my mother and who are my brothers pointing to his disciples? He said, here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. This isn't Jesus saying his family is not important. But it is Jesus saying his work in God is just as important. And those who are choosing to follow God are now his family.
Also a lot of times we don't, or we feel guilty if we don't drop everything to do something for a family member. Obviously our specific situations will vary, but let this be your permission that if Jesus himself was willing to expect his family to wait. Then we can too. His calling [00:10:00] was his priority in that moment.
And he was unapologetic about that. These stories aren't in scripture by accident. These are lessons we were meant to know and learn from intentionally. Boundaries aren't negative and they aren't a weakness. They're intentional and they're for our protection. Think of them like invisible lines in the sand that define our limits, protect our calling our time, our emotions and our energy. Studies show a clear correlation between a lack of boundaries and increased stress. And I don't know about you, but any way that I can avoid extra stress in my life, sign me up. Boundaries are not a lack of grace or compassion.
They're an act of love and honor. And one other way that we can actually deny the flesh. Which wants to act like it's capable of all things when it isn't. I think we can all agree that our goal should be to live more like Jesus. So let's talk more about [00:11:00] Jesus. In Matthew chapter 14, verses 18 to 23, Jesus fed the 5,000 people, which is a well-known story.
But can you imagine how many people out of 5,000 wanted Jesus's time and attention. How many questions they must have had. Even still Jesus dismissed them. He fed them and then he dismissed them. And his disciples. And he went onto the mountain to pray. He had taught. He had served. He had provided. And it was now time for him to set a boundary.
He didn't answer every single follow-up question that every single person had. He didn't heal every single person with a sickness. He didn't stay up all hours of the night so that no one ever felt turned away. He did what he was called to do what he could do, what he planned to do. And he put boundaries in place.
Otherwise he sent the [00:12:00] people away because he needed that time with God and prayer, and nothing was more important than that in that moment. Jesus often withdrew from the crowds and the work to rest. He spent a lot of time with the people teaching healing, serving. But when he recognized his need for rest, he took it. Jesus also asked for help when he needed it.
Are these things hard for you sometimes too? If they are turn to scripture and remind yourself that even Jesus needed rest. And even Jesus asked for help when he needed it. There's no trophy for doing the most with the least. There's no benefit to spreading yourself so thin you have nothing left. In fact, a lot of times that's our pride that causes us to do those things.
Try to remind yourselves that boundaries are not just a strategy for protecting your peace and your wellbeing. They're also a necessary practice for navigating your life with purpose and faith. I hope you found value in this [00:13:00] lesson on boundaries. And I want to invite you to join us December 1st through December 12th.
For an amazing and free training series to create clarity and purpose in our parenting for 2024, for more information, and to sign up, you can go to covenant collections.com/ 2024, which I'll also link for you in the description.
This series will have bite-sized lessons, very clear directions, tons of flexibility to work with your life and your time, but also 18 free gifts just for signing up. And then those who participate in our free Facebook group, the Christian parenting community will also have access to the $3,888 worth of giveaways that are going to take place throughout those 12 days.
I'm so excited for this challenge and it's going to be a lot of fun. So I hope to see you there. God bless.
I hope you found this episode valuable, and I pray you're walking away with a new insight, [00:14:00] perspective, or idea to implement as you move forward in your journey. Remember that while busy is an often unavoidable state of being, it is not a badge of honor, and it is not a measure of our worth. God gives us everything we will ever need to thrive in our careers, our personal lives, our families, and most importantly, our faith.
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