The Truth About Coaching: Revealing What, Why, and How 

Decoding the Role of Christian Parenting and Family Coaching 

What Is Coaching? 

The term “coaching” is being used more frequently these days, leaving many wondering, “What even is coaching, and is it something I need?” According to BetterUp, “Coaching is when an individual works with a trained professional in a process of self-discovery and self-awareness. Working together, the coach helps the individual identify strengths and develop goals. Together, the coach and coachee practice and build the skills and behaviors required to make progress toward their goals.” 

In the vast landscape of self-help and personal development, it’s likely you’ll run across a coaching offer or someone who expresses the positive ways in which coaching has changed their life. As a certified parenting and family coach myself, I feel called to ‘demystify’ this concept and shed some light on the transformative power it can hold.  

Let's start by understanding the essence of coaching and, specifically, how a Christian approach can guide you towards self-discovery and breakthrough. Let’s also acknowledge the humbling fact that nothing worthwhile lacks risk. We will discuss who coaching is for, who coaching is not for, what you can expect, typical strategies, costs, and overall benefits. 

Personal Accountability in Coaching 

A successful coach should not plan to push their own path or ideas onto you. Great coaching is often 20% mechanics and 80% mindset. This type of focus guides clients to moments of deep reflection that can lead to game-changing ideas and life-altering perspectives. Most of which come from within the client themselves, with appropriate guidance and support.  

Coaching is not about someone telling you what to do; it's a collaborative partnership where you, as the client, are the expert in your life. You should expect to be guided and empowered to unlock your potential and see possibilities you may not have considered. Imagine your coach as a guide, pointing you toward your goals and helping you attain the vision you desire for your life. While we bring expertise to the table, the emphasis is on guiding you and illuminating your path forward, not dictating your choices.  

Coaching involves significant personal accountability, as it requires you to take action toward your goals. This also requires you to be honest with yourself and your coach throughout the process. Your coach can empower and inspire you, but they cannot do the work for you. A successful coaching relationship relies upon the clients understanding that they are ultimately responsible for their own choices and outcomes. A willingness to take accountability for that intentional path towards their ideal life is an important piece of the puzzle. 

Coaching vs. Therapy 

It's particularly important to distinguish coaching from therapy early on. A coach is primarily focused on your present and future, not delving extensively into your past. Through deep introspection and strategic questioning, a coach aims to unlock your true desires and open doors you may not have seen for yourself before. It's less about giving step-by-step advice or healing traumas of the past, and more about guiding you towards the best path forward from where you are now- to where you desire to be. A great coach can help you formulate a strategy personalized to your current challenges and your ideal outcomes. 

Coaching often gets entangled with buzzwords and trends, leaving many questioning its true purpose. It's not meant to be a one-size-fits-all approach where one success path is replicated time and time again. Instead, it's a collaborative exploration where your journey is the focal point. It's a process of self-discovery, achieved through strategic and skilled questioning, active and reflective listening, and a focus on professionally guiding the client where they want to go.  

Coaching is Not for Everyone 

The truth is, coaching is simply not the right path for everyone. A good coach will not enter into a coaching relationship with a client unless they are confident they can help the client achieve their goals. This is why most coaches have a screening, application, or discovery call process in order to speak with the potential client before booking them into a package.  

Coaching may not be for you, if:  

• You are struggling with mental health concerns or deep trauma that requires healing before you can focus on taking steps forward towards your goals. 
• You are seeking someone to tell you exactly what to do, or do it for you, rather than help guide you towards the best path for you. 
• You struggle with accountability and aren’t willing to take actionable steps towards your ideal future. 

While coaching is a powerful tool, it's not for everyone. Coaches often provide “homework” that ranges from asking the client to keep an eye out for a specific observation to trying a new strategy between sessions. They often ask clients to reflect on what has changed since the last call, and what area requires the most focus, or top priority, on the present call. If clients aren’t willing to self-reflect or take action, these strategies would not be nearly as effective as they are capable of. Clients should not only desire certain outcomes; they should also be ready to work towards them.  

Key Coaching Principles 

Coaching operates on the principle that the client is ultimately responsible for their own choices. Proverbs 23:7 reminds us of the power of our thoughts. A great Christian coach will seek to help clients see themselves through God's eyes, offering grace and support. With a heavy focus on mindset, coaching challenges you to practice and make progress forward, rather than chasing perfection.

Coaching involves unlocking your true desires, even those beneath the surface. A great coach may say things no one's ever said to you, and they'll likely believe in you more than you could have expected. Through strategic questioning and active listening, a coach guides you towards light bulb moments that change the game for you and your family. 

Think of a coach as a mentor. They truly desire your success and wellbeing and will work very hard to help you achieve it. They will often help you formulate goals, identify and overcome roadblocks, then create and act upon a strategy for accomplishing them. The Christian coach approach adds a focus on where you're going and how you'll get there, while aligning your path with God's purpose for your life. 

Parenting and Family Approach 

One common misconception about parent coaches is that they are focused most on training the child. The truth is the primary focus is often on the parents. With expert support, parents can work through any obstacles standing between themselves and the parent they truly desire to be- quicker, easier, and with fewer rollercoaster moments than going at it alone. They can develop and enhance necessary skills to achieve desired outcomes, align efforts with core values, and implement effective strategies over time.  

When it comes to your children, you are the expert. No one knows your family better than you and God. A great parenting and family coach genuinely believes this and will empower and equip you to believe- and feel- it as well.  

Whether you’re seeking to raise your children differently than you were raised, incorporate faith into your family, improve your current approach or reactions, overcome active struggles within the home, or incorporate methods that will propel you towards the vision you have for your family, you could likely benefit from a coach to guide and support you through the process.  

Coaching Cost 

So, how much does coaching cost? This varies significantly throughout the market. It’s important to note that while cost is an important consideration, it’s also about the overall value and what you intend to get out of the relationship. Quality of programs, coaches' alignment to your particular needs, and experience with your goals vary. Programs also vary in length and structure, which can make cost comparison challenging. Some coaching programs include additional resources, guides, training, or community aspects in addition to the coaching sessions. 

Cost can also vary based on whether 1:1 or group coaching is sought. Group coaching is typically far more cost effective. For example, Covenant Collections has a low-cost, high-value membership for Christian parents that includes live group coaching and Q&A with private community coaching for just $7/month as a member of The Calm & Confident Club. They also offer affordable coaching through full day Voxer sessions and various other package discounts.

12-week programs tend to range anywhere from $500-$3,500. Private 1:1 sessions are often offered in 1-hour increments, meeting weekly/biweekly/or monthly, from 1-12 months. These private program costs vary significantly based on client needs and coach programs. 

Choosing a Coach 

Now, you may be ready to try coaching, but how do you choose a coach? It’s important to note that while many formal certification and training programs are available for coaches, completing one of these is not a requirement to offering a coaching program. If certification of the coach is a priority for you, it would be important to specifically ask the coaches you are considering or read their program offering details carefully.  

Some coaches offer broad services, and others specialize in a specific developmental stage or topic. You can typically get an initial call at a discounted rate or, in some cases, at no cost, in order to determine if you align with the coaches style and approach.  

It’s also important to take your preferences, priorities, and values into consideration. If you are a Christian who wants to ensure your values are honored in the coaching approach, it would be recommended to seek out a Christian coach specifically or ask your coach if they are in alignment with these values.

If you want to be able to delve into other areas as well, such as marriage, work, friendships- there are some coaches who are adaptable and able to offer support in various areas and some who may refer out to other specialties. As a certified professional coach and certified youth, parenting, and family coach, Katy Bordeaux is an example of a coach who can offer support in most areas a client wants or needs to address.  

However, if you are seeking to address marriage or career primarily, it would be best to find a coach who primarily focuses in marriage or career. You will get the best results from a coach who has helped clients in these areas before and/or has personal experience overcoming similar challenges in the target area. Today, there are coaches available with expertise in pretty much any given area, but self-discovery, personal development, and mindset can be expected in nearly any program.  

Coaching Results 

Remember, coaching is a journey of progress, not perfection. Even if you don't initially see possibilities, a great coach will help open that door for you. Coaching is a collaborative process of self-discovery and growth.

There are many benefits of coaching, as this process is about navigating your path, discovering your true desires, and making progress in alignment with your goals. Whether you're exploring coaching for personal or family development, understanding its principles can be a transformative step toward a more fulfilling life. 

So, if you've been curious about coaching, we hope this information has answered some of your questions and encouraged a step forward. It may be time to consider your goals, identify roadblocks, and consider how coaching can guide you.  

How to Get the Most out of your Coaching Experience 

Let’s say you’ve made the decision to hire a coach. How can you optimize the experience and get the most out of your program?  

First, realize that your time with your coach is valuable, and you should aim to maximize it. You want each session to take your journey to the next level, and this requires awareness and intentionality.  

How to get the most out of your coaching experience:  

1. Commit to being open and honest. Take a moment to reflect on your behaviors and approaches to-date, and ask yourself where you could benefit from improvement or assistance.  
2. Adopt a growth mindset. Being open to the possibility and reality of improving and accomplishing your goals is essential to success in these areas. 
3. Take time to reflect on questions asked. Each question is chosen to better understand where you are or guide you to where you desire to be.  
4. Come prepared to your session. While sessions will be flexible, you should come prepared with one focus area where you want to go deeper, improve, overcome, or learn more about. You should also have feedback on your experiences between sessions wherever possible, so that your coach knows what is working, what isn’t working, and what may be beneficial to try next.  
5. Look for opportunities. As the time with your coach is valuable, look for opportunities to learn from them and receive their guidance in the areas that will have the greatest impact.  
6. Remain accountable and engaged in the process. Coaching can only work if you’re willing to grow and take action. To get the most out of your experience, remain focused and committed to the process. If at any time you’d like to shift the trajectory of your journey, communicate this with your coach so that they can best support you.  

Conclusion 

Remember, coaching should provide you with the knowledge, support, and tools needed to make informed personal choices. At the end of the day, the choices are still entirely yours. You will always be the subject matter expert when it comes to your family, and from a Christian standpoint, we know you will benefit most significantly from including God at the center of your family. 

If you find, in addition to this, that you would like discuss working 1:1 with a certified parenting and family coach that specializes in supporting Christian parents, you can apply to work with Katy Bordeaux here.