The Hidden Cost of Multitasking: Is It Hurting Your Family?
Sep 27, 2024The Hidden Cost of Multitasking: Is It Hurting Your Family?
The Myth of Multitasking
You’re busy. I’m busy. We’re all busy. Many parents feel the constant pressure to be everywhere, do everything, and manage it all seamlessly. When it’s going well, you may wear multitasking like a badge of honor, priding yourself on the ability to juggle endless responsibilities—work, home, kids, and personal commitments—all at once.
But what if multitasking is quietly damaging one of the most important aspects of your life? What if, in trying to do it all, you’re sacrificing the very relationship that matter most—your connection with your child?
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Research has shown that multitasking doesn’t boost productivity or effectiveness. (I know, this was disappointing for me as well). Instead, it divides your attention, increases stress, and ultimately detracts from the quality of time you’re able to spend with your kids.
In parenting, multitasking can create emotional distance, making your child feel less seen, heard, and valued.
The Illusion of Efficiency
On the surface, multitasking seems like a win-win. You’re answering emails while supervising your kids, making dinner while helping with homework, or squeezing in social media during family time. It feels like you’re accomplishing more in less time.
But the reality is quite different. Multitasking often leads to divided attention, more mistakes, and, in parenting, it can even damage the bond between you and your child. Children, especially younger ones, thrive on your undivided attention. They may not verbalize it, but they notice when you’re only half-present—nodding along while you scroll through your phone or offering a distracted “uh-huh” as you try to manage other tasks.
These moments send an unspoken message: “I’m here, but you’re not my top priority.” Over time, this can erode your relationship, making your child feel like they need to compete for your attention with everything else on your to-do list (Or worse, give up). As parents, we need to be aware that every interaction, even the seemingly mundane ones, build the foundation of trust, security, and emotional health for our kids.
Why Children Need Your Full Attention
Children don't just need your presence; they need your full, undivided attention. No, not all the time. Of course, you have things you need to get done.
They need eye contact, active listening, and engagement to feel connected, loved, and valued. Studies show that when parents are more present and focused during interactions, it strengthens a child’s emotional intelligence and builds their self-esteem. It’s in these focused moments that children feel safe to express their thoughts and emotions, knowing they are truly being heard.
When you give them your undivided attention, you build trust and intimacy. But when you're constantly distracted—whether by your phone, work, or the pressures of daily life— children may feel they aren’t important. This can lead to behavioral issues, acting out for attention, or emotional withdrawal. In a world where distractions are everywhere, carving out time for focused, intentional parenting is more crucial than ever.
Helping Parents Overcome the Obstacles of Modern Life
Parenting today isn’t easy. Many struggle to balance work, home life, faith, and personal time, and in doing so, you may often feel disconnected or overwhelmed. This is where the Calm and Confident Club comes in.
The Calm and Confident Club is a safe space for parents to break free from the overwhelm of modern parenting. It's designed to offer hands-on support, education, and resources to help parents show up as the best version of themselves for their families. We understand that being present for your children in a meaningful way can be hard when you're constantly pulled in different directions. The club helps you address those challenges and equips you with the tools to prioritize what matters most—without feeling like you're falling short.
If you're struggling with distraction, stress, or the feeling of being stretched too thin, this community can provide just the guidance and encouragement you need. The Calm and Confident Club is where parents come to learn how to lead their families with purpose, overcome obstacles, and develop intentional habits that foster deep, meaningful connections with their children.
Join the Calm and Confident Club and discover how to become the parent you’ve always wanted to be, for both yourself and your family.
The Ripple Effect of Being Fully Present
When you consciously make the decision to let go of multitasking and focus on being fully present, the positive effects extend far beyond the immediate moment. Your child will notice the change. They'll see a parent who listens, engages, and is deeply interested in their world. This, in turn, helps them feel secure, valued, and loved.
Not only will your child respond to this shift, but you as a parent will also start to feel more in tune with your family’s needs. You’ll begin to experience less stress, more patience, and an overall sense of calm as you become more intentional with your time. Parenting will feel less like a race to keep up and more like the fulfilling, joyful experience you always hoped it would be.
When Overcommitment Becomes a Tool of Distraction
Have you heard the saying, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy”? For the longest time, I didn’t fully grasp the weight of this statement. But as life became increasingly overwhelming with work, home, church, and family commitments, I began to understand how distraction can be one of the enemy’s most effective weapons.
Many people are distracted not because they’re not committed, but because they’re overcommitted. And that’s exactly where the enemy wants us—so busy and stretched so thin that we miss the most important moments with our families and our faith, never catching up enough to live in our God-given purpose at our fullest potential.
Why would the enemy want us distracted? Because it’s easier to deceive us when we’re overwhelmed. When we’re too busy to pause and reflect, we’re more susceptible to stress, worry, and fear. We lose sight of the peace that comes from God’s promises and instead allow anxiety to creep in. We become reactive instead of proactive. And in this state, we’re less equipped to lead our children in faith, less able to show up with patience, and more prone to letting the distractions of this world take center stage.
Embracing a Biblical Approach to Focused Parenting
Scripture encourages to be "slow to anger" and "quick to listen" (James 1:19), and to cast all your anxieties on God because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). These principles can guide you in parenting as well. When you approach your child with love, patience, and presence, you model the love of Christ. You create an environment where they can thrive, knowing they are seen and valued, not just by you, but by God.
As a parent, you are called to steward your child’s heart. Being present is one of the most powerful ways you can fulfill that calling. This allows you to be emotionally available, spiritually attentive, and more in tune with their needs. Your child is not an interruption to your busy life—they are the reason for it. By living out your faith in intentional, focused ways, you can create a home filled with God’s peace, joy, and love.
Practical Tips to Avoid Distracted Parenting
- Create Tech-Free Zones and Times: Set boundaries for when and where you use technology. Establish tech-free times during meals or family activities, ensuring you’re fully present in those moments.
- Time Blocking for Efficiency: Instead of multitasking, schedule specific times for different tasks. Work during work time, parent during family time. This not only helps you focus, but it also allows you to be fully engaged in what you’re doing.
- Mindful Parenting: Practice being fully present in the moment with your child. When they speak to you, put your phone away, make eye contact, and actively listen. Let them know their words matter.
- Prioritize Rest: When you’re exhausted, it’s much easier to get distracted. Prioritize rest, both for yourself and your family, to ensure you’re emotionally and mentally available when it matters most.
- Delegate and Simplify: You don’t have to do everything. Learn to say no to overcommitment and delegate where possible. Simplifying your schedule frees up time for more focused, meaningful interactions with your kids.
Choosing Presence Over Perfection
Multitasking might make you feel productive in the short term, but it comes at a cost. Over time, it weakens your ability to connect deeply with your children. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about showing up, being engaged, and giving your child the attention they need to thrive emotionally and spiritually.
Choose presence over perfection. They will remember the moments you were truly there, not just physically, but emotionally as well. And as you cultivate those moments, you’ll see how a more intentional, present approach to parenting brings peace, joy, and a stronger bond with your family.
Author
Katy Bordeaux is a Certified Parenting & Family Coach and the founder of both Covenant Collections and Kingdom Purpose Moms. Passionate about guiding families to thrive, Katy combines biblical wisdom with practical parenting strategies to help parents build strong, faith-filled homes. Connect with her for more resources and support on your parenting journey.
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