Scripture guidance in Christian parenting

If you saw our TikTok post a few days ago, you'll know we promised that today's blog post would expand upon the verses we posted. (If you aren't already following us, links should be on our blog page).

So let's get into it! 

First, we have Deuteronomy 6:6-7 which states, "These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

This one is insanely relevant to Christian parenting any day, including modern day.

This is a reminder that God's word must be our guideline for everything. 

This is also a VERY CLEAR statement that we have an obligation to teach our children what we've been told in scripture.

Our children's Christian education is OUR responsibility. The pastor, the youth leader, the Christian friend, the Vacation Bible School, the devotional book we got them for Christmas, and so on are all amazingly helpful assets in this journey, but the responsibility at the end of the day lies with us. 

To teach, we must demonstrate. We must live out God's word and God's laws in our own lives and lead by example. We are to make them a common part of everyday life. If we only talk about God on Sundays, we aren't following the guidance scripture provides. "Talk about them when you sit in your house"

"Talk about them when you walk along the road"

"Talk about them when you lie down"

"Talk about them when you get up"

We might do about 100 other things throughout the day, but this is trying to impress upon us the importance and the frequency with which God's word should exist in our lives. This should be an all-day, every day lifestyle.

Next, we have Proverbs 3:12, stating "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights."

Discipline is guidance. The Lord guides us, teaches us and corrects us. He sets boundaries and guidelines for us. 

We are to do the same for our children. Connection with them is vital, loving them is a necessity, and having trust and open communication with them is great. 

However, we are not called to be their best friend. I know, that hurts. And when we can parent well AND be a friend, it's extremely rewarding and heart-warming. 

But there will be situations in which we must choose to take the best friend route or the parent route, and I urge you to choose the parent route. It is OKAY to upset your children by not giving them their way, and it is OKAY to tell them no. 

This is part of our responsibility as parents in general and as Christian parents being guided through scripture. Denying them discipline and structure will do them no favors.

(Please note: I did not and will not condone physical punishments or overly strict authoritarian style parenting- Our Father does not parent us in this way, why would we parent our children this way? There are many forms of appropriate, effective and Biblically-supported discipline.) 

Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child up in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

This is arguably the most common parenting Bible verse referenced everywhere and for good reason. 

It typically comes across a little "feel-goody" and comforting to us, like if we just teach them about God then no matter how far off the rails they go, they'll certainly return to God by the time they're old. However, this isn't always the case.

This verse serves as a lesson of the IMPORTANCE and SIGNIFICANCE of teaching Christianity in childhood. 

The Proverbs are warnings, in most cases. 

This verse should also serve as a warning of what will happen if we do NOT train a child in the Word of God. 

If we do not raise them, discipline and guide them in the right ways, they may continue to make un-Godly choices throughout their entire lives. It may be too late to fix later in life if the foundation is not set by us. 

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I think this is yet another strike against authoritarian parenting. We are not to cater to our children and aim to never upset them, but we are not to "flex" power at them consistently and make their faith a forced, upsetting experience. 

It takes very little research to find hundreds of young adults on the internet talking about their 'religious trauma'. It hurts my heart that this job as Christian parents was done for them in such as way that turned souls away from the Kingdom of God rather than towards it. And I pray that they have the experiences in life they need to bring them back. 

Don't force. Don't over-control. Don't over-exert. Don't create anger and frustration in your children for the sake of "winning". Teach them with PATIENCE, even if that means explaining the same thing 100 times. Even if that means forgiving 100 times. After all, isn't that what our Father has done, and continues to do, for us?

Colossians 3:21 is very similar in stating "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."

God knows our flaws, so He knew the possibility that we'd essentially take on this responsibility in the wrong way and cause our children to run the opposite direction, and He entered multiple warnings into scripture to steer us correctly. This is why I'm such a big advocate of making faith age-appropriate, ENGAGING, encouraging and fun!! We want them to LOVE God, and ENJOY their relationship with God. It should never come across as a hindrance, as a kill-joy, as something to avoid or run from. And most of that...yep, you guessed is...is on us!

Proverbs 4:1-2 "Listen, sons, to a father's discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, for I am giving you good instruction. Don't abandon my teaching."

Notice how "discipline" here, is something a child should "listen" to. That equates discipline to guidance. Discipline is something a child should understand. It should be a teaching. Our children should see us as wise and a source of great comfort, information, guidance and love.

How are you doing well at this today?

How could you do better?

Psalm 127:3 is the perfect way to close. 

"Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord."

Remember this when they're making a mess.

Remember this when they're talking back.

Remember this when they're complaining about what you cooked. 

Remember this when they say "I'm bored" after you've done a million fun activities that day, and you're exhausted.

Remember this.

Rest in this. 

Pray on this. 

Our Father gave us these children as a BLESSING. We are meant to enjoy them. We are meant to view them as a gift. That doesn't mean you're a failure when you struggle to see things that way. But it does give you a point to remember, and a verse to recall, repeat and pray over on the hard days. 

Click here to download your free 'Family Devotion Starter Kit' today!

God bless you!

Katy, Owner/Founder of Covenant Collections