Parenting Triggers: Why You Snap & How to Break the Cycle
Mar 21, 2025Do You Ever Wonder Why You React the Way You Do?
You love your kids more than anything.
So why do you sometimes snap, raise your voice, or react in ways that leave you feeling guilty afterward?
The truth is, it’s not about how much you love them. It’s about what’s happening inside of you.
Watch on YouTube or listen on Raising Faithful Families podcast.
Most of the time, your biggest reactions aren’t about your kids at all.
They’re about what their behavior is triggering in you.
Understanding your parenting triggers is the first step toward breaking the cycle of reactive parenting.
In this blog, we’ll walk through:
โ What parenting triggers are and why they affect you.
โ Where they come from and how to recognize them.
โ How to bring awareness and healing so you can respond with patience instead of frustration.
โ Biblical encouragement for breaking free from reactive parenting.
What Are Parenting Triggers?
A trigger is anything that causes an intense emotional reaction—one that often feels disproportionate to the situation.
For example:
๐น Your child spills a drink. It was an accident. But instead of calmly helping them clean it up, you feel a rush of frustration and snap.
๐น Your child starts whining or complaining. Instead of patiently guiding them, you feel your irritation boil over.
๐น Your child ignores your instructions, and instead of calmly redirecting, you react with immediate anger.
Why does this happen?
Because the situation isn’t just about what’s happening right now.
It’s tapping into something deeper—past experiences, unmet needs, or emotional wounds that haven’t been addressed.
Triggers are like emotional landmines—lying beneath the surface, unnoticed… until something sets them off.
But here’s the good news:
๐ Triggers don’t mean you’re failing as a parent.
๐ They mean there’s something deeper to heal.
So let’s talk about where these triggers come from.
Where Do Parenting Triggers Come From?
1๏ธโฃ Childhood Experiences & Unresolved Wounds
Many of our triggers are shaped by how we were parented.
- If you grew up in a home where mistakes weren’t tolerated, your child’s messes might trigger perfectionism and frustration.
- If you were ignored or dismissed as a child, your child’s whining might trigger feelings of unimportance or resentment.
- If you were raised in an unpredictable or chaotic home, your child’s high energy might trigger a deep need for control.
Without realizing it, we sometimes carry old wounds into our parenting.
Biblical Encouragement:
๐ Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Parenting is often the mirror that reflects back the areas where we still need healing.
But the good news is- God is in the business of healing broken places.
2๏ธโฃ Unmet Needs (Physical & Emotional)
Let’s be honest—parenting is exhausting.
When you’re running on empty, your ability to stay calm plummets.
๐ฉ Lack of sleep makes everything feel bigger.
๐ก A messy house can make you feel out of control.
๐ฌ Feeling unappreciated can make even small inconveniences feel overwhelming.
When you don’t meet your own needs, you can begin to resent the needs of others.
Biblical Encouragement:
๐ Luke 5:16 – “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
Even Jesus modeled rest and renewal.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
3๏ธโฃ The Overwhelming Mental Load
If you’re like me, your brain is running nonstop with things to do:
๐
Appointments to schedule.
๐งบ Laundry to fold.
๐ฝ๏ธ Meals to plan.
๐ Schoolwork to oversee.
And then—your child spills something, whines, or fights with a sibling.
Suddenly, that one small thing feels like the last straw.
Not because of what just happened, but because your mental load was already too much to carry.
Biblical Encouragement:
๐ Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
God never intended for us to carry it all alone.
Sometimes, we need to release the pressure we put on ourselves.
Breaking the Cycle: The First Step to Change
Before you can change your reactions, you have to understand what’s driving them.
A Simple 3-Step Reflection Exercise:
Next time you feel triggered, pause and ask yourself:
1๏ธโฃ What just happened?
2๏ธโฃ What did I feel?
3๏ธโฃ What’s beneath this? (Is this tied to something deeper?)
When you see your triggers clearly, you can take them to God and start healing them.
๐ฌ Free 5-Day Challenge: Stop Yelling at Your Kids
If this resonated with you, I want to invite you to my FREE 5-Day Challenge to Stop Yelling at Your Kids.
Over five days, I’ll guide you through:
โ Identifying your biggest parenting triggers.
โ Practical strategies to stay calm in the moment.
โ Biblical encouragement to shift from reacting to responding.
This challenge is completely free, and it will have a powerful impact on your parenting.
๐ Join the challenge here: [๐ข The 5-Day No More Yelling Challenge]
Final Encouragement: There Is Hope
If you’ve been struggling with reactive parenting, I want you to know:
๐ You are not alone.
๐ You are not a bad parent.
๐ You are capable of change.
With awareness, grace, and God’s help, you can become more intentional, patient, and present with your children.
So this week, I encourage you to pay attention to your triggers—not to judge yourself, but to begin the journey toward responding instead of reacting.
If this encouraged you, let’s continue the conversation:
๐ฌ What’s one situation that triggers you the most as a parent? DM me on Instagram—I’d love to hear!
Until next time, take care & God bless!
Author
Katy Bordeaux is a Certified Parenting & Family Coach and the founder of both Covenant Collections and Kingdom Purpose Moms. Passionate about guiding families to thrive, Katy combines biblical wisdom with practical parenting strategies to help parents build strong, faith-filled homes. Connect with her for more resources and support on your parenting journey.
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