Parenting with Grace: Navigating Peer Pressure, Technology, and Culture: Part 2

Parenting with Grace: Navigating Peer Pressure, Technology, and Culture: Part 2

In Part 2 of our 3 Part Series for Parenting with Grace, we will be digging into the topic of navigating technology.

If you missed part 1 where we discussed the complexities of parenting in the face of peer pressure, you can read it here: Parenting with Grace: Navigating Peer Pressure (covenantcollections.com) or listen to the audio version on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/UfuhXG9ofe8?si=vOobC31G25c4gUo3

Now, in Part 2, we turn our attention to another highly relevant challenge for modern-day parents—navigating the technological landscape. At this point, there is no denying that technology plays a significant role in shaping the lives of our children, and that role is only going to increase from here.

The question of the day (every day- that is) is: How can we parent with grace while embracing and regulating technology?

Or…

Technology: Blessing or Challenge? (Should this have been my title?!)

What do you think? Ultimately, for your family, you know best. But I’m happy to share my advice, my experience, and my professional guidance to help you navigate the challenges around this, sometimes touchy, topic.

Technology has become an integral part of our lives, and even more so for our children because they’re growing up in a generation where it’s so front and center. Smartphones, tablets, and computers have completely infiltrated their daily routines. Because of this, it also presents unique challenges, and often fears, for parents.

I think with anything, it’s important to recognize and appreciate the blessings technology provides us. Most of which are obvious, but let’s highlight a few. For one, without it, you wouldn’t be here reading this. For two, the medical field has had significant advancements that save countless lives, thanks to technology. Another is how easily we’re able to connect and maintain community with others because of technology. (For example, The Christian Parenting Community on Facebook).

The blessings are evident: instant access to information, communication with distant loved ones, and powerful educational tools. Yet, there are also the challenges, including the potential for exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, the power of influence from the wrong sources, the detrimental impact on self-esteem from comparison, real-life social challenges stemming from reliance on technology, and even safety concerns with exposure to any number of potential risks.

It’s my firm belief that we must remain safe, wise and in alignment with our values, while not allowing fear to hold us back in life.

The scripture that I allow to guide me through this topic is 2 Timothy 1:7. 

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

Really think about that for a moment.

God did not give us a spirit of fear. So if you are living in fear of something, realize that did not come from God. God gave us a spirit of power. That, to me, in this context means that he put trust in us to have discernment over things like this. That makes me feel incredibly empowered. He trusts me. He trusts you.

He gave us a spirit of love. When we let love be our guiding force in decision-making and parenting, it’s hard to make the wrong choice.

And sound judgment is another reminder of God trusting us to make the best decisions for our family. Some translations say self-discipline here, and that’s extremely impactful as well. When thinking about technology, self-discipline is so important. It’s important not to allow ourselves to become consumed by technology, and addiction to it is a very real problem. It’s a problem that affects a lot of kids who are addicted to it themselves, and it’s a problem that affects kids of parents who struggle to give their child their attention because of their inability to fight the pull of their own screens.

I have no doubt we’ll learn more about the true effects of those issues in the coming years.

So while I never want to vilify technology. I think it’s amazing. The reach that we’re able to have, the impact on the world, the power of good, those things benefit so greatly from our access to technology. Let’s just remember the importance of exercising control, love and wisdom in the way we approach and monitor technology in our homes. This will help us be more mindful of the time we spend, the types of content we engage with, and the true impact it’s having on our lives and our families.

I believe our greatest role with our children is to guide rather than control. We should think of ourselves kind of like their coach in a sports game. Somehow we need to teach them the right things to do, how to respond to situations they were (and those they weren’t) prepared for, how to handle wins and losses, how to work well with others, how to manage themselves well… but, we can’t do it for them. At the end of the day, we’re on the sideline watching them implement those lessons. But we do get to talk to them about it, provide feedback and guidance, provide additional training, discipline when needed, reward when possible, support them no matter what, and LOVE them win or lose. In other words, complete control is out of our hands. But we’re responsible for teaching them the skills of wisdom, a sense of responsibility, and helping them balance their technology use along with their faith, family, friends and everything else in their lives.

Parenting truly is leadership.

What have we learned so far?

1. Technology can be powerful, but we are more so.
2. God did not give us a spirit of fear, so instead, we should approach technology from a place of empowerment and potential.
3. Self-discipline and sound judgment can be our guiding values for navigating technology while staying true to our faith.

Now let's talk about how to do that.

One of the greatest challenges Christian parents tend to report when it comes to technology is how to make sure they’re staying true to their values through the digital age.

Here are some strategies for navigating technology with Christian values intact:

1. Utilize technology as a tool for faith and encourage your children to do the same. Utilize digital resources for Bible study, devotionals, connecting with faith-based communities, sharing the word of God, having a positive impact on others, and being a light in the world.
2. Be very mindful of the content consumed. We are not called to partake in all the things the world enjoys. We should be drawn to things that are good, that are holy, that are kind, that are uplifting, and that honor God. The power of influence is a very real thing, and believing that we can consume freely of impure things and not be negatively influenced by them is naïve. Maintain boundaries of appropriateness and encourage consuming positive, healthy content.
3. Build open and honest communication paths with your children about the potential challenges of technology now and in the future. Discuss issues like online safety, the responsible use of social media, and the importance of using technology for good.

Another challenge reported is how to be more tech-savvy in a world where we don’t recognize half of the things the kids are using anyway. I mean, my goodness. There's something new out there every single day. We think we have access to our kids Instagram until we hear about Finsta accounts, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.🥴

Here are a few strategies for effective parenting with tech-savvy considerations:

1. Establish clear rules and boundaries for technology use in your home and be consistent about enforcing them. What those rules and boundaries look like for your family is entirely up to you.
2. Remember that children learn most by observing their parents. Be a positive role model by demonstrating responsible and respectful technology use.
3. Encourage and prioritize quality family time that may or may not include technology. There are tons of fun family games you can play that incorporate technology in a positive way, and it’s also completely okay to plan a tech-free family night if that’s what you prefer.
4. Recognize that learning and staying up-to-date with the latest trends, challenges and risks may be a part of the process.

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Modern day parenting enjoys many modern day conveniences, but of course has introduced a few confusing, and often conflicting, challenges. In all things, our goal should be to parent with grace. Even technology can be embraced while maintaining strong Christian values if we take precautions, remember what is most important, and preserve our role as leaders in our homes.

I want to take one more moment to speak on the conflicting advice out there. Scripture is very clear about many, many things. But outside of what is written, we’re all just doing our best with what we know, what we learn along the way, our own convictions, and our own intuition. Let’s resist the urge to push our own convictions onto others, and let’s remember that others convictions do not have to become our own. One parent may believe that Tiktok, AI, or whatever comes next, is an absolute violation of their faith and feel strongly convicted to steer clear of them entirely. That may be true for them. And may not be true for you. Either is okay. We each have our own relationships with God, and I feel confident if it were something He felt strongly that we should ALL know and follow, he would provide that guidance to us all. Be open to the fact that our interpretations may not always match others interpretations, our parenting certainly won’t always match others parenting. And even when we are only observing other Christians for the “right” way to do something, there may not be one clear, "right" answer.

Take your concerns to God, spend time in scripture, and pray over what you think/feel/find confusing. I hope the guidance I provide never comes across as “this is the right way, the only way”, as that will never be my intention. The only resource that will ever be the one source of truth is The Bible.

I am here to inform, guide, coach, but most importantly, empower and inspire. If you have any specific questions or needs or want to discuss more in depth, feel free to reach out anytime.

Reminder- Grab your copy of The Ultimate Parent-Child Bonding Journal (if you haven’t already) at covenantcollections.com/bonding before the end of October! It will still be available (and affordable) after that, but it will no longer be a free offer. All I ask to those of you who claim the free copies is to send me your feedback on how the journal impacts your family as you work through it 😊

We’re never alone in this, and even as the world constantly changes, you are more than capable of the strength and wisdom to parent with grace along the way.

With love,

Katy

Founder of Covenant Collections

Certified Parenting & Family Coach